Monday, June 30, 2008

Will He EVER Poop!

For the last 6 weeks or so we have been potty training. Actually, the Tot wanted to put underwear on like his big brother. Luckily, I saved S.'s Thomas 2T/3/T underwear. He was so ready to wear his 'Thomas' underwear!
Well, pee training has gone VERY well. There are times he has accidents. Like last week at the park. He didn't want to stop playing, so he just wet himself, and promptly told me,"I wet myself." Lovely! Prior to that, though, he has gone over 2 weeks without an accident.

The bad news is he has never gone poop in the potty. When his brother was having trouble potty training, I simply took off his underwear and that was that. I did that with Tot. He pooped on the floor. For a long time, he would poop in his underwear. Now, he has been saving it up for when he's wearing a diaper at nap time and bedtime. I'm glad that he hasn't pooped in his underwear lately, but damn, will he EVER poop in the potty? He starts preschool in the fall, and I wonder if he will be able to go. They have to be fully potty trained there to go. I'm starting to get worried. I have not made a big deal about poop in his diaper anymore, since he would just laugh and think it was funny. I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Breaking One of the Rules of Infertility

Across the street from my house, a couple went through a lot to get pregnant. They have one child; all repeated attempts at IUIs and multiple IVFs to have another child failed. They were wonderful to us when we were experiencing our difficulties, often at the same time.
When their insurance would pay no more, they decided it was time to let having another biological child go. I gave them all of my adoption information from when we thought we might adopt. We had even chosen an agency. They were very excited about adopting a child. All of the necessary paperwork was completed, and then it was time to wait...and wait and wait.
I do not know what happened since this was all during my pregnancy with Tot, and I felt I shouldn't ask. See, when Tot was 2 months old, they started to put a beautiful addition onto their house.
The next year, they told us that the addition was their 'baby'. I felt if they wanted us to know more, they would tell us, so I didn't ask again. We have talked many times since then, and I know that the pain of infertility is still with them. They tried so hard, and yet they never were able to parent that second child.
Yesterday, Hubby and I were talking with the husband. Tot was being a royal pain in the neck, so I said the one thing no one should say to someone that has gone unsuccessfully through infertility. I said,"Do you want a boy?"
A few hours after I said it, I realized what I had done. I feel like an asshole. I should know better. I want to call and apologize, but that would simply be adding salt to the wound. I feel like a total asshole!

Monday, June 23, 2008

"Is This Worth it?

I have been plagued by acne since I went off the pill 7 years ago to try to get pregnant. This past year I decided that I had enough! I found a dermotolgist through my step-mom, and went to her. We tried the old stand-by: antibiotics and Retin-A. That did not work. Plus, with all of the antibiotic resistence that has been going on, I did not think taking antibiotics was a good solution. So we tried Tazorac. It did not work. Then the doctor asked me if I had thought about Accutane. Yes, Accutane. Being that I am clinically depressed, and one of the side effects is depression, I really did not think it was a good idea. The only thing left was taking Spironolactone, a drug that is used for hypertension. It is used as an off-label drug for acne. It works by suppressing the male hormones which are responsible for most of the acne seen in woman. There are side effects, of course, but minimal when compared with accutane. I had to have a chem. screen done first because of some effect it has on your kidneys, and I was good to go. I scheduled an appt. for 3 months later, and went on my way. The result: it didn't work. I was so frustrated! At my next appt., she could see that it hadn't worked. I had two options. Try to up the dose, or try Accutane. We talked about my fears of Accutane, and I told her I would talk with my psychiatrist about it. She then decided to perscribe me the highest dose of spirononlactone to try. Her point about Accutane was that after one or two cycles of it, the acne would be completely gone, so there would be no more drugs to take. With the other drug, I would have to keep taking it pretty much forever.

I took the prescription for the other drug, and talked to my pychiatrist about the Accutane. Yeah. He pretty much was 'oh hell no. We agreed why add something like Accutane when I was doing so well with my depression. I would rather have zits than depression!

The problem is this drug has side effects. Menstrual irregularities being #1. Let me say that it has not been fun having two periods a month, and they keep getting closer together. Husband isn't happy about this either. Planning a vacation just for the two of us not knowing if we can even have sex, you know-spontaneous no kids around sex, basically blows. I was a like clockwork girl. I like to have control of this, to know when it's coming. I also have not enjoyed the lightheadedness, nor the out of breath feeling that happens when I walk up a flight of stairs. Working out has been interesting, I'll tell you that! But, skin is beautiful. Really, really beautiful! It has not looked like this since I was a teenager, and didn't have much acne to contend with. I wear a lot less make-up, and feel more self-confident. It is wonderful not having to worry about my make-up smudging off. Sometimes I even feel like I have good skin. My only question is do the benefits outweigh the side effects?

Monday, June 09, 2008

One of Those Mothers?

Today I did it. I took my oldest to summer camp, and put the 'baby' to sleep. I also fell asleep, and didn't wake up until it was one minute before the time I had to pick S. up. Wouldn't you know that when I got Tot up, he had a poopy diaper! When I finally managed to pick S. up, he was standing there alone. I felt horrible! I profusely apologized to the teachers, who luckily have known me for a while. The kicker to this story is when I walked in I still had the imprint of my pillow on my cheek. Yeah, I didn't even try to explain why I was late. It was written all over my face.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Night of the Twisters

Hubster and I, along with the kids, went to a water park resort this weekend. We had a good time, well, as good of a time as you can have when you bring your kids along! By Saturday evening we were all feeling the effects of the weekend 'fun.' While we watching the news, we saw our family members' town on the screen. They had a tornado touch down by them. All that kept being shown, over and over, was the tornado's destruction. The tornado had struck down on one of the major highways and as a result, cars and a large semi were knocked down. That part of the highway is still closed. Roofs were blown off houses, and the poor farmers were hit hard. One horse farm had the roof of its stable blown off. When the owners came back from the area they went to when the tornado hit, they found that even though the roof had blown off, all seven horses were still there and they were fine. They looked as though nothing had just happened. It was amazing! The main problems after the tornado hit, is all of the downed electrical wires as well as possible looting. Aren't people wonderful?

Being so far away was hard. Not knowing if my family was okay was difficult. All I could think of was that I didn't have their phone number with me. When we got home this afternoon, I called them to see if they were okay. I prayed they would answer, because if they didn't, the news would not have been good. The good news is that they answered their phone and were not hit directly. The bad news is they had minor damage to their property, but no power. It isn't expected to return for another 2-3 days. The electric company's trucks are all over, and doing what they can.

My parents were in a horrible tornado in 67', and never did get over the effects. Whenever there was a bad storm and taking cover was advised, my mom would tell us to quickly get in the basement. We always went too slowly for her liking. I think that we never thought we would be touched by a tornado, so we didn't see the point of rushing. My mom did. When she passed away, I took her copy of the newspaper depicting that tornado. She always kept it in her drawer. I never understood that, but I do now.

Monday, June 02, 2008

You Know You've Turned Into Your Mother...

  1. While in the dressing room with your son, you tell him not to ball up his clothes and throw them on the floor.
  2. When your oldest says to you,"What's Tot going to have to do?", and you tell him to worry about himself not his brother.
  3. When your son tells you something isn't fair, and you tell him life isn't fair..
  4. When you tell your kids when they are done with something to put it back where it belongs.
  5. When you say how tired you are of all the mess.
  6. When you find yourself asking if you're doing everything around the house.
  7. When you ask your son,"Did you not HEAR me? I told you to..."
  8. When you ask, "Who's fed the dog today?"
  9. When you yell at your older son to stop touching his brother!
  10. When you find a toy broken, clothes on the floor etc..., and you tell your son he is lucky to have nice things, and he needs to take care of them...or Grandpa etc. bought you that and you need to take care of it. Or, "What happened, that's your good shirt! You need to take better care of it!"
  11. When one of your children has spilled something, etc.., and you loudly tell them,"I can't have anything nice anymore!" or something along those lines.
  12. When you tell your son to 'watch what he's doing' in a variety of situations.
  13. When you say,"I'm not going to do it for you."
  14. When you ask,"Why would you do that?!"
  15. When you yell,"Clean your room!"

***So what do you do/say that reminds you of what your parent/s used to say to you???

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Is This Our Version of Wonderland?

Yesterday a couple of my friends and I took our kids to see a play at an arts center in Chicago. We had gone there before, and the kids really enjoyed it. (We have to keep the kids busy!) This time the play was 'Alice in Wonderland.' The book version always freaked me out, and this play did too. However, the cast did a wonderful job! The boys were even able to tell me their favorite characters and why they were their favorites. They definitely are getting older!

S. loves going to this Chicago neighborhood, as do I. My cousins' house is there, and I always remember, as a child, thinking how beautiful it was. This neighborhood also has many little shops, and very few chain stores and restaurants. Living in the burbs', it seems all we have are chains!

This neighborhood is not perfect, though. It isn't as picturesque as it looks. You cannot go east of a certain street, because that neighborhood is terrible. The crime rate has soared in the last decade. However, to the west the neighborhood is still very good. Well, as good as any neighborhood in the city can be.

When I was in my early 20's, I used to go to a bar out there with my friends. The first time I went I assumed, due to it being in the city and all, that there would be an ethnic mix. There was none. The customers were all white, and still are. This bar is Irish, and if you know anything about the Irish in our city, Mayor Daley..., they generally tend to be opinionated. They aren't going to put up with anything, and generally like to stick together. As an example, a guy friend of mine from college said he could never marry me because I wasn't Irish. Not for any other reason. As a result, we never dated. What would be the point? Irish ancestry is revered that much here.
My point here is there are only white people in this bar. I really couldn't believe it, as the neighborhood isn't strictly white, being the city and all. Our bars in the burbs' have more of a mix. I am not going to slam whites like Father Pleger did at St. Sabina. Personally, I am tired of hearing how awful white people are. Now I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton, but I feel strongly that he went too far in his 'sermon'.

At any rate, if you go to the other side of town, those bars are the same except that whites aren't accepted. The problem I have here is each of these bars are segregated. Haven't we gotten past this? I thought people wanted to be brought together. Not the whole 'separate but equal' bullshit from so long ago. Maybe I'm wrong, but every time I see the movies captured during the civil rights days, particularly with Martin Luther King in them, I feel that all of us in this world are more alike than different, and that people were fighting to be treated well regardless of race or religion. Is this idea of a truly united states a vision of our own 'wonderland' that we may never see?