To Which I Say, I Just Don't Care

On Sunday, Jeff's aunt and uncle called to see if they could stop by and drop some clothes off for the kids. The aunt is the sister of Jeff's dad. So Jeff asked me, and I was fine with it. To give you some background info., they were also at the christening, but had entered the sanctuary before the 'fun' began. So they only know what Jeff's parents have told them. And what might that be, you ask? Well, they believe that my 'mental problem' is basically what the whole 'problem' between his parents and us is all about. I'm not surprised. I did say to my therapist that if my 'mental' problem was THAT bad, that they would have talked to Jeff or called child protection services since I would obviously be too impaired to take care of the kids properly. But they know that is not true, and as my father has stated, they are just trying to save face. I call using my PPD as an excuse hitting below the belt, but what did I expect? The sad thing is that a close family member of theirs tried to commit suicide five years ago; I remember getting that phone call late at night. I wish I could tell you who it was, because it would make so much sense, but I would never 'out' someone about their illness unless I asked them first, and there is no point to that. So, my point here is that mental illness is to be taken seriously and not to be used as an excuse for their behavior. Okay, that said, I told Jeff to have them come over, we have no beef with them, and then they could see for themselves that I'm not crazy. Quite the opposite.

So they stop by, and the kids are still napping,. We didn't wake them up, and that was understood. So anyway, Jeff took them out back to show them the screened porch and deck that he has been taking down. In the middle of it all, Jeff's aunt starts with,"I know you're not talking with your dad, BUT....." My stomach started that lovely feeling right then. I actually had a feeling something like this was going to happen. She continues,"His birthday is coming up,(tears start) and it's a special one--his 65th." The tears continue, the women in Jeff's family cry easily, and Jeff basically said no. We have no problem with you, but we have a lot to still deal with with his family. It just pissed me off about how it was called 'his special day', like Ryan's once in a lifetime christening wasn't HIS SPECIAL DAY, but I realized they were never told the true story, and Jeff and I agreed we are keeping this between his parents and us. Obviously my brother and father are involved because they were there when the 'fun' started. Jeff's sister called and asked what happened, and Jeff told her what we discussed telling people if they asked. It is between his parents and us. Just remember there are two sides to every story and not to believe everything you hear. That's it. We are going to take the high road here. We are not trying to get people to take 'our side'. It doesn't really matter to us what other people feel we should do. Our family is priority one, and everyone else can just deal with it.

Funny thing: Jeff said the last four weeks without them have been great. I agreed. No anxiety, no phone calls telling us what assholes we are and how 'I don't like his mother'. Ya' think?! Why? No more demands, no more shit from them. Just peaceful calm. Life without them is better than we could have ever imagined! I'm just sorry that the kids can't have normal grandparents that they can see, but we can't allow the kids to be around them, especially when they behave the way they have been. We are the parents. We have to do what is right for the whole family, including them. So, their worst fear has come true; my family IS seeing the kids more than they are. Gee, wouldn't they be pissed!