There Just Aren't Words

I am so exhausted! I have not slept in three days. I finally figured out that it is from a new med. that I am taking. Of course, I am no longer taking it so now I have to call the doctor about another medicine. Oh, how I hope I sleep soon!

Did I mention Hubby worked all weekend and has not been able to help this week either? I'll explain that one later. Did I also mention how I took the kids to have the Tot's 2 year picture taken and what a nightmare that was! I have also been volunteering at our church's VBS again this year. I have been enjoying it, especially since it is the one time of the day when I get to have a conversation with other moms while not having one of my kids interrupt me. The kids are loving it too. Poor S. got hurt during Duck Duck Goose today. How does that happen? I mean it's not like DDG is a particularly aggressive game. What is going to happen to him when he plays dodgeball? Poor S. seems to always get hurt in some way. However, he rarely cries. In fact, I have had to tell him that he MUST tell an adult when he gets hurt. I would see these cuts and bruises on him that he couldn't explain to me, and they kinda freaked me out. Anyway, I'll post again when I have a clear enough head to not write soley in run-on sentences.

Proof That I Need More Sleep

Today, after I worked out I took a shower. I got dressed, and then went to spray some hairspray on my hair (my gym provides it). I thought to myself that it smelled pretty good. Then I looked down and realized I had just sprayed deoderant on my hair and not hairspray. My kids better sleep tomorrow morning, and not be up at 6AM for a third day! Mama obviously needs her sleep!!!

Dressing Room Disaster

The other day I went in search of a cute summer dress. I thought I had found a possible contender, and I was even happier when I found it had been marked down. Now I fall between two sizes in most clothes, so I always have to try them on. Well, they had the smaller size, but not the next size up. Okay, I thought. I'll just try it on and see. It couldn't hurt. Oh, but it could. And did.

As I was putting on the dress, one of those that has no zipper or buttons of any kind, I anticipated there could be a problem. However, I did not anticipate getting stuck in the dress. I started to panic and got sweaty thinking I was going to have to ask some strange salesperson to help get this dress off. How embarressing! I am whiter than a snowbunny, with added spider veins to boot. (Thanks boys for those!) I did not want to have to show my nearly naked body to a stranger. And the lighting in those places just makes everything look worse! Needless to say, I kept trying to get the damn dress off! Suddenly, I heard a little rip. I thought to myself that as long as it didn't go all the way through it'd be fine. I kept at trying to pull the dress on over my head. And alas, it came off! I hurt my neck in the process, but there was no way I was walking out of the dressing room with a dress halfway off my body. Nope. No way! Have any of you ever had a time when it looked like you might be wearing home the outfit you tried on? I can't be the only one. By the way, I never did find a dress that day. Doesn't it figure!

The Heavens Have Opened Up!

Our old babysitter from last year is watching the boys again this summer. She's a teacher too, so she has her summers off and wants to earn extra money. Well, she came this afternoon. I planned on going to the gym, but having taken the boys to the park during 50+mph winds in 90 degree heat, well, I decided not to. Instead I picked up some soft serve ice cream and ate it in my bedroom while watching GH. And then......I took a nap.....because I could!!!

This evening, my sitter from this year, you keeping up?, called and wants to watch the boys while Hubster and I go out. It goes to show you, things can look up when they seem like they're going down the crapper.

Hitting the Wall--You Too???

I've been doing this stay at home gig for nearly five years. I have enjoyed most of it, and there are days when I feel so incredibly blessed that I am brought to tears. (An example of that would be when S. put on Celine Dion's song A New Day Has Come. The lyric "I found my strength all in the eyes of a boy" always brings tears to my eyes. How true!) However, today is not one of those days. Well, to be perfectly honest, the last month or so hasn't been.

Now my love for my boys never wavers, but my enthusiasm for staying at home does. I don't know about anyone else, but I am sick of wiping counters, emptying dishwashers, getting kids dressed and trying to look presentable myself, trying to figure out what to make for all three meals, listening to someone complain about what I'm making, getting us to our destination on time, trying to figure out something to keep the boys busy, and wiping butts. Phew! And would you believe that's not even half of my day-to-day list? Of course, you would. You live it too.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I am bored. I feel like my 'work' is grunt-work at times, and I feel like my brain is like the drug demonstration commercial from the 80's. You know the one that says, as an egg is being cracked over a pan, "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?" My brain is like that egg-mush substance. My brain is turning into mush. I feel like I never really get to use it. Let's face it. I could change a diaper in the dark; I'm sure you could too! How much intellect am I using on a day-to-day basis? I am not stupid either. I'm college educated. I've even educated some college graduates. But I am feeling like I never get to use what I know. I never get to discuss topics in-depth like I used to. I mean,"S., what was your favorite part of the day?", while a meaningful discussion, not one that really entails me bringing up any prior knowledge. I want to use my brain again. I just don't know where to start.

I am not going to go back to full-time employment, so that's out. Tell me internet moms, how do you satisfy your need to use your brain? Please don't tell me to get a pedicure and a cocktail. Been there, done that, and while nice, it didn't satisfy my need for more intellectual stimulation.

***Thanks for all of your comments on prior posts. I've finally gotten around to responding to them:)

What Makes Me Cringe

I don't want to sound like an old fogey around here, but when did kids lose the ability to occupy themselves for more than a few minutes? I'm serious! Today we were watching my brother's kids for the day. Their ages are 10 1/2, 9 and 5. Please know that I love my brother and his family very much. It's just that the kids are never happy. I believe my neighbor coined this term for today's generation: the 'How Are You Going to Entertain Me Today Generation'. Oh, we all were told that Kurt Cobain's anthem 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' summed up our selfish, narcissitic Gen X, but I think it applies more to today's generation of kids.

I used to worry that my niece's and nephew wouldn't like me anymore if I didn't do something special with them every time they were put in my care. I have baked countless cookies, bought lunches and dinners, painted nails, bought makeup and spent too much money at 'Libby Lu' all in the name of wanting to satisfy them. You see I always was the cool aunt. I had children later than any of their other aunts, and then I had boys. Meaning: my nephew had to school me in all things boy and my nieces were the ones who I do 'girly things' with. My oldest niece actually was happy when we found out we were having another boy. Too cute. I used to really like doing things with them, but as they've grown older they began exhausting me. Having two of my own children makes me tired, so tired that at times I can't think of anything I'd like better than to not have to be with any kids.

I'm trying to get my boys to learn to play on their own. S. always has, but there are times when he wants me to play and all I want to do is to sleep! I don't expect to not spend any time with my kids. I really do enjoy spending time with them, but I do not want them to expect me to entertain them all day. When I was teaching, and even now, I see so many kids who are signed up for way too many things. They are in soccer, baseball or softball, basketball, karate, and the list goes on....! If there are two or more kids in the family, I wonder just how their parents manage to get them to all of these activities. The kids are stressed, mom and dad are stressed, and the kids only succeed in learning that if there's not an organized activity that day, then they will surely be bored.

I'm not opposed to sports or art classes. Quite the opposite. I myself was in ballet and tap dance, gymnastics, 4-H as well as one summer of ill-suited softball. My brother was in baseball, basketball, floor hockey, and boy scouts. And we both took swim lessons. However, we did not do any of these activities at the same time. There was time for homework, family dinners and time to be bored. Bored to the point where we had to make our own fun. Those 'activities' remain some of my favorites. Now I know that I told my mom I was bored. I know that. I also know, though, that she didn't come up with things for me to 'do' so I wasn't bored anymore, unless you count her 'chore chart'. Come to think of it, I think that is one reason why we didn't say that awful phrase more often. If I was bored, my mother would find something for me to do in the way of chores. There were always plenty of them she said.

What do you all think? Are there too many organized activities? Do kids today not know how to entertain themselves? Tell me what you think.