It seems like when my son is mad or upset with his daddy I get the brunt of it. S. has been acting out lately because my hubby is never home. When I called J. yesterday, my son said this to him, "Mommy go to work. Daddy stay home!" Of course, my husband LOVED hearing that. I mean his son prefers him more than me. My therapist said that was a pretty smart thing for him to say. He obviously understands that one of us has to go to work. Yah, but he wants his daddy. It still hurts a little, because he was always a mama's boy.
I told hubby yesterday that when he got home he had to spend quality one-on-one time with S. He really needs. Hubby did, which was nice. Fast forward to today. While tater tot was taking his morning nap, I did a craft with S. He loves that. He loves the attention. It usually makes the entire day better. Today, however, it did not.
I make it my mission to get out of the house as often as possible. Usually we have obligations, but today we did not. I really needed to get my Clinique makeup since I am almost totally out of it. I used to love shopping, but since #2 son arrived, I have not. Actually, tater tot is the better behaved one now. S. has always, always been a good shopper. He LOVES going out and people watching. He also loves sharing one of Auntie Anne's pretzels. If he was good, we'd get one, and he was always good. Not today. I should have known it was not going to be a good outing when S. took his coat off after I put it on him and said,"I NOT wear a coat!" And you know what? I didn't make him. I told him he would be cold, but I didn't make him wear the coat. I figured he would have the natural consequence of being cold, which would probably work better at getting him to wear his coat the next time than me yelling at him. Know what? The boy was cold. He did not like it one bit. He assured me he will be wearing his coat next time. We'll see. Anyway, S. can now undo the belt in the stroller, but I haven't been putting it on him for some time now because he has never tried to get out. Today he was pulling clothes off of their hangers, kicking clothes---you know kicking white pants with his dirty shoes! He was just out and out rebelling. We did not get a pretzel because I will not reward bad behavior no matter how much I myself would have loved one. S. of course, freaks out. He's yelling,"I NOT A BAD BOY. I WANT A PRETZEL!!!!!!!!" Yes, people were staring. Now I was very specific about the bad behavior that caused him not to get a reward. I also told him that him screaming like that was also a reason he wasn't getting a pretzel. It didn't matter. I decided it was time to leave.
I tried talking to him about his missing his daddy. That did not work. There were time-outs and more time-outs. I am physically exhausted! My son will probably be in therapy some day, and complain all about his mother. It's always the mothers' fault, isn't it? The dads can be son of a bitches, but the main blame will lie with the mother. All I know is that his father will be home for the weekend, and S. is all his. ALL HIS.
3 comments:
Hey Bev,
I'm back. I will read your post later.
Catch you later. Jen
We battle with that almost every day with at least one of the kids. LOL They don't get to see dad as much as mom. Therefore, they think dad is more fun. LOL
Oh and I saw the bedroom pic. I love it! I think I may steal the hat idea from you. :) May I ask where you got the curtain panels?Do you have a shade or blinds under the panels?
Hey Bev,
I'm feeling a bit better and full of words. First, your son is 3.
He's learning how to test the waters, if telling you he like's daddy more get's you wriled up he will tell you this. Nip it in the bud.
I am glad you stand your ground on the pretzel and enforcing the rules. I know it's gotta be hard.
I think this ties in to your other entry about being a sahm, they take a lot of crap in society. I never wanted to be a sahm. I just never desired it. I would encourage dh to do it 100% though.
I guess this is why he'll be a teacher soon and the father daughter love grows strongs.
Our lives are full of sacrifice. I'm sure J would enjoy staying home with the kids, and might envy that you don't have to leave the house to go to a hectic office when he's having an off day, but men are wired so different then women. No one ever asks a man, do you have pms, they don't curtail and shit talk men like they do women. I know we have emotions.
I have 5 old brothers and all of them having/had working wives. I see my husbands cousin as a lazy bitch because she's a sahm mom who doesn't want to be bothered with the kids. SHe ferberized them, has them on rigid schedules and doesn't leave the house for days on end when the weather is bad. And guess what, she doesn't even clean or cook, hello why areyou home? SHe get's waited on by DH like a princess and I think she's a sahm bitch. Because she's got it made and then some. SHe got a brand new car and she doens't go out of the house much. THis doens't make sense, I guess that's why I'm writing this.
She would give SAHM a bad rep. She doens't take care of her kids most of the time. Ok, and other sahm they have nannies? This is a bit wierd but becoming more normal.
I could go on and on and rant.
I am a Working Mom because I want to and I'd starve more if I didn't work. Plus, I refuse to scarafice things in our life for the sake of being there for a wow moment. NOw that my daughter is getting older, I think on the flip side. You should stay at home with the kids when they can really remember it. When they might consider kicking it with the wrong crowd.
Ofcourse there are extreme's too, there are kids whose parents work too much and ignore them, hence rich kid syndrome.
Gotta stop yapping. This debate always irk's me. Where is the respect. No one in the 40's would say Mrs Smith your a bad person because you have to work while yoru husband is in the war.
Jennifer
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