I Should Have Known

Now that my lovely period is going away, I am feeling better. It's amazing how much hormones affect me! I also realized that I was missing my mom. Last week when it was the anniversary of her death, I kept myself insanely busy to avoid actually grieving. Ah, but I know that you can only bury your feeling long enough. Eventually, they will surface, and that is what they did.

I usually talk to hubby when I'm feeling this way. I also usually talk to my therapist, but did I mention she moved! Anyway, hubby has been dealing with another kind of grief, the grief of losing all of your family at one time. Yah, good times in our house! Unfortunately, his parents told a vastly different version of the occurrence a few weeks ago, and now he is being treated like the devil. We were still having a relationship with everyone else in the family, just not his parents. Well, not anymore. Real nice. He received a letter from his aunt at work, that used words and phrases such as "if I looked at you I'd cry", ashamed, diappointed, yada..yada...Whatever. Hubby never cared for this person, never felt a connection, so it's more her loss that ours.
The point here is that hubby is trying to deal with knowing that no one really cared, really cared, about him in the first place. He always held onto the hope that someday things would work out. Now he is faced with the fact that they never will, and that is hard. You don't want to believe that about your family. I feel badly for him, but I know this is something that he will have to work through, and all I can really do is to be there for him and listen. And I will. I will do whatever he needs to me to. I married a man. He always does the right thing, even when that very thing can cause him so many problems. The ironic thing about all of this is that all of my family, our friends, and co-workers love him. Hubby is a very genuine guy. He is a very moral person too. My mother absolutely adored him, so that is the best vote of confidence he could ever receive in my opinion!

The two of us have been very busy, and we need to take the time to connect again. I worry about burdening him, and he worries about the same thing. We need a bit of time to just talk, uninterrupted!, and get back to us again. I'd really like that.