The SAHM Blahs

When I became a SAHM, I knew the pitfalls that came with the job; or so I thought. I had asked many questions from current and former SAHMs, and made mental notes so that I would never allow any of the bad stuff to happen to me. I'm laughing as I type this! My list, in no particular order, became this:

1. Always put on some form of make up before leaving the house, so that I never 'let myself go' because I'm a mom.


2. Don't only wear 'mom clothes'. Dress my age, not like a frumpy schoolmarm.


3. Don't feel like I have to ask my husband's permission to buy or do something because he 'makes the money.'


4. My husband and I are equals, so everything, including the kids and housework as well as time to ourselves, will be equally divided.


5. Remember that my job as a SAHP is as important, if not more important than the job he does all day.

I could go on and on, but I think those show the jist of what I'm talking about.

This past weekend Hubby went out of town on an all men's retreat. I was very happy that he wanted to go, as he is a very shy person. Plus, the topic was something he has been struggling with lately. However, it means that I will be 'working' 11 days without a break when this weekend rolls around. At any rate, I was in need of a break before he even left. Did I mention how I forgot it was my niece's communion on Saturday. Oh, yes. We are not Catholic, so I didn't know how big a girl's first communion is, but it was big! I had to find a gift and clothes for the boys to wear, all the day before while by myself. Then the I had to take the boys with me by myself. Luckily, my dad was there to help me, and the kids actually sat through the entire hour long mass. Both of them! Believe, me. I know the big guy was watching over me! I had tried to make sure the boys and I looked nice, and took a picture to commemorate the event. This is what I got:

Who knows what the Tot was looking at. And I'm wearing the outfit my husband told me to buy. I wanted to return it, because when am I ever going to wear it? We are more casual at our church, and it just isn't appropriate for parent-tot tumbling. I mean where do I go that warrants a silk skirt and top with, you can't see them, three inch heels?! Not comfortable!

I must admit that I pretty much only wear jeans. My mom uniform seems to be jeans and a v-neck shirt in either brown, black or gray. So much for not dressing frumpy. I also feel like my time is not my own, and if I am by myself, I am always in a hurry to get back home because someone there has something to do. Tomorrow S.'s preschool is having a special event, so there goes even the thirty minutes I spend with friends at the local bagel store eating lunch with our little ones after tumbling. Wednesday I have a MOPS administration meeting, because one day when I must hav ebeen on drugs(kidding!)I agreed to be next year's leader of the entire group. WTF was I thinking! Then on Saturday morning, there is the Vacation Bible School leaders breakfast at 8:30 AM! Oh, then Mother's Day the next day in which I am supposed to teach a Sunday School lesson that ties into Mother's Day. Yah, on the one day of the year I can barely get out of bed. So, no time for myself ever. I can't even make it to the gym.

I just feel so unattractive lately. My face broke out a month ago, and does not appear to be getting any better despite spending mucho dinero on acne products at Sephora. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on what to do for adult acne?

But the worst thing that has happened lately is that I feel like I have to justify purchases to Hubby. Not the every day stuff. But I feel like I need to ask permission to, for example, update my bathroom. Not gut it, just update it. A new vanity, floor, lighting and paint. I'm even nervous to suggest it. This is not like me, and feeling this way pisses me off!

Does anyone feel like they are in charge of all the childcare? Hubby has a work event next week, which I need to go to with him. At any rate, guess who ended up finding a sitter? Yep, and it isn't even my thing! If it has to do with the kids, it's my thing. Hubby doesn't even realize this, I know, but I'm getting tired of it.

I'm am feeling so overwhelmed lately. So uninspired, so uncreative, so blah.