Some People Are Just Assholes

...and Happy Mother's Day too. I'm just going to get to the point here. Yesterday, when we got the mail, there was a pink envelope addressed, I thought to Hubby. Upon closer inspection, I saw it was addressed to Mrs. Hubby, meaning me. On the outside of the pink envelope, there was a pink sticker with the words 'It's Twin Girls!' on it in my MIL's writing. At first, I thought it was some kind of weird pre-birth announcement, because they had just found out the sex of the babies. And I wondered why my MIL was sending me anything anyway since we haven't spoken in almost two years. And in those two years, they have sent me nothing. Why now? Why now indeed. Oh, inside there was an invitation to a shower my MIL is throwing for my SIL. Now my MIL knows that I wouldn't go to the baby shower. Nope. Rather it is the passive-aggressive slap in my face.

My husband's family has wanted a girl baby since we announced we were having our first boy. And when S. was a baby, Hubby's aunt actually said to me that the next one 'better be a girl', because there are so much more things to buy for a girl. As if that were the purpose of my children's births: to give her something or someone to buy for for. And she was never able to have children. You'd think she'd be more sensitive, wouldn't you? Course, she also refused to consider adoption because 'their family doesn't adopt'. My MIL also hoped that Tot was a boy so much so that she kept telling me up until the week before his birth that she had talked with someone who's ultrasound said it was a boy, but it was a girl. I told her that we had a 4D ultrasound, and it said it was a boy. I saw the penis myself. Oh, and when I told Hubby's aunt that I thought Tot was a boy, she said, "Ohhhh, no." I then gave her a piece of my mind. How we were happy to be having any gender of child, and until the 20-week unltrasound we still couldn't get totally excited because Hubby's brother died at 1-month of age. He was missing part of his heart when he was born. It's a congenital defect, that we pray our baby doesn't have. We had to have state-of-the-art ultrasounds so that we could make sure that our baby's heart was intact. It made me red with anger, that I was basically being told that a girl a baby was worth more to them than a boy baby. Why? Why did it matter to them so much? I wanted a boy and a girl equally. I would have been just as upset about not having a boy, as I would be about not having a girl. I mainly wanted a girl so that I could have a mother-daughter relationship again. It wasn't at all about clothes and toys or anything else.

So fast forward to yesterday's mail, keeping in mind that it is the day before Mother's Day, and my mother is dead. Think about how that envelope with its 'Twin Girls' proclamation made me feel. Hubby didn't even mince words. He said it was to throw it in our faces that we never had a girl, and his sister is. (His sister has always been the 'golden child' in his family.) Like look what you never could do. Yah, that's love. He also said they are so petty. To purposely want to hurt their son and his wife is beyond sick. And what they are basically saying is that our sons aren't good enough. To them. Simply because they are boys. Hubby also says that his family believes that he will come to his senses at some point, and divorce the bitch AKA 'me', and come back to the family. So Sopranos, don't you think, and they're not even Italian!

We went to dinner, and I had a glass, or two, of wine to relax. I was sad about my mother not being around to celebrate Mother's Day with, as well as my inability to get pregnant and give a sister to my boys. S. has actually been telling us he wants a sister. I was also angry that supposed 'family' would pull this crap. When we got home, the boys were asleep; we had a sitter. I got into my oldest's bed and cuddled with him. As I lay there feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath he took, I felt such pride. How blessed I am. I wish I could slow down the time, and make my boys stop growing up so damn fast, but I can't. It wouldn't be fair to them anyway.

This morning the boys came up to my bed, and wished me a Happy Mother's Day. Hubby had them wearing matching shirts with the words 'My mommy loves me' on them. And I do. I love them for so many reasons. And I promise never to be the MIL to their wives as mine has been to me. That's my gift to them. I will love them whether they have boys or girls, or no children at all. Whether they fulfill their goals, or even if they give up. I will love them because they are my sons. My gifts from God. I could never stop loving them no matter what. My love is not conditional.