A few days ago, I was watching a re-run of 'Law and Order: SVU'. To summarize the plot, a man works extremely long hours. His wife ends up cheating on him. The three of them end up in the same room, and a verbal altercation takes place. The husband tells the boyfriend how much his wife likes to spend money, and basically that the boyfriend cannot afford the things she wants. The boyfriend retaliates with the statement,"At least I spend time with her." That sentence gave me a jolt. A big one. As much as I detested what this woman had done, I could empathesize with a husband who is never home, and the loneliness she felt.
Let me just reinterate what I have said many times on this blog, I love my husband and would never want to leave him, nor would I ever cheat on him. However, as I was thinking about what this character had said, I pondered why, just why, I felt that jolt. Many times I have heard about husbands who work late and yada, yada, yada.... Why did it bother me so much this time? Guys, I am emotionally and physically drained here. The evening that the show was on, happened to be the day my husband flew out of the country again. Thinking about the day he would be coming home, I then remembered a line in the movie 'Mr. Mom', yes I am aging myself, where the Michael Keaton character said to his always working wife, "Even when you're here, you're not really here." Amen! That's what it feels like. He's always gone, and when he is home, he's not really here. He has been travelling 60 percent of the time. I am getting plain tired of it. I feel lonely even though I am with my girlfriends and we talk about our husbands working long hours. I have long passed the frustrations of being a single parent. Now I am resentful of all that I do around here by myself. I am tired of taking the garbage out. I am tired of having to take the kids to the doctor only to find out that the oldest is wheezing and now he needs breathing treatments too. I am tired of having to wake him up to give him said treatments since he needs them every four hours. I am tired of not being able to ever call my husband since he is out of the country. I am tired of watching the other husbands in our neighborhood come home before 5:30. Guys, the only thing I don't do is mow the freakin' lawn, and I am thinking of hiring someone to do that, so we can have some extra family time. I am lonely and pissed off. It is after 7:00 here, and he still isn't home. I am also angry at another person, but I cannot talk about that on my blog.
So, there is never enough time for my husband and I. We haven't been without the children in over a month. I am drained. Not enough time. I wish my husband would spend time with me again.
1 comment:
I could have written this post. I feel the EXACT way. My husband may not go out of the country but he might as well. He's hardly here even when he's home. So yeah, I feel you and I wish I could help. I understand the loneliness and frustration of doing everything in the house and for the kids (as much as I enjoy doing it, I need a break sometimes). Yes, I am thankful that he is working but sometimes I wish he would get a normal 8-5 job. So what does your husband do? Have you told him your feelings and what has he said about that? I wish my husband would try to undesrstand where I'm coming from sometimes. I hope you're having better luck communicating with yours. Do you think his work schedule will get any better?
Post a Comment