Friday, July 17, 2009
Good vs. Average??? You Make the Choice
A random question that's popped in my head. Was/is it easier it break up with an average guy rather than a very goodlooking one? (or one that is better looking than another). Do you stay in the relationship longer because he's a good person and you love hearing how 'hot' your boyfriend is? Can his looks and the attention you subsequently receive, be intoxicating? Like the attention is great. It's fun having people be jealous, particularly people you don't like? Does the vision of a pretty picture with beautiful children make it harder to leave/be left? To miss the attention, for a little while, to come to peace that the pretty picture would have been a lie? To truly believe that the song by 'The Offspring' in which one of the lyrics reads "the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care" is the truth? Is a goodlooking man harder to get over when they break up with you? Even when you worried that some other woman would come along and he'd cheat on you? Or do you think in 10 years he's going to see all he's missed, and then a divorce will be looming in the horizon via Jon Gosseling? (I've thought about THAT situation lately)! Does your self-esteem plummet? Is it easier to get over an average looking guy than a goodlooking one? When you see him out in public would both guys make your heart thump in that 'oh my God. I haven't seen him in years' kind of way. Knowing that you loved them both, a lot, would one be harder to see now over the other? And the BIG question: would it feel weird/make you a little jealous to see him with another woman, and to see that he has a family with her? Like what did she have over me, even when you're the one who did the breaking up or vice-versa? Like she is living the life that almost was mine? Would it have been easier to break up with average guy than a goodlooking one? I know I'm talking myself into a circle here. Ala, Carrie Bradshaw--Sex in the City, I've really been wondering that. It's also a question you can't ask all your girlfriends; it's easier, and probably more truthful, to ask people outside your inner circle. I don't really know the answer, but I'd like to. Please let me know your thoughts.
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3 comments:
Hmmmm...hard to say, I guess. I only dated hot guys, not average ones (LOL!). :)
But let's see...I am still friends with my very first high school boyfriend, I see he and his family fairly regularly since his brother is good friends with C. We have an interestinly woven circle of friends. Anyway, it's not weird because it was so long ago. But I guess in the end it just comes down to whether or not the person is right for you, so then it's not really an issue of looks, but of what you really want for hte rest of your life, and at that point, while it might be weird to see that person have a family with someone else, you know you are with the best person for you and it is a moot point (or as Joey would say, a moo point, 'cause cows can't talk). Don't know if that answered your question or not.
I typed up this long response and deleted it by accident! Sheesh.
Anyway, for me, the answer is yes - it was harder for me to break up with a hot guy than an average guy. It might sound superficial but believe me, men are even worse. Look at all the old men with younger beautiful women.
This one bf in particular was not only gorgeous but smart and charming. It was SO SO SO hard to say goodbye to him because of all the things you mentioned. People envied us, I loved looking at him and feeling his strong arms (lol), I thought of all the beautiful children we'd have together...etc. But at last, I couldn't get over his past and had to say goodbye.
I understand what you're saying.It was very hard to say good-bye to all of that. In addition to ending that relationship, I had just graduated college and needed to find a job. I knew it was over, but couldn't be the one to end it. I had done that nearly three years earlier to my then, 2 year relationship, and it was awful. I felt so bad for him. Anyway, my good-looking guy is a nice person to, so no hard feelings...
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