The Club No one Wants To Join

What can I say to a woman who lost her mom a month ago? Should I tell her that the first year is the hardest, even though it's only been a month? Should I tell her it sucks that your mom won't see your children grow up, and in my case, won't even meet my youngest? Should I tell her that you can try to make yourself busy, but you can't avoid the pain forever. Should I tell her how it's the smallest things that just pop up that make her cry. It could be a store they went in to together, or the realization that she can't just call her mom up anymore. Should I tell her that even though it's been years, I still cry and feel that pit in my stomach when I miss her? Should I tell her the holidays suck, and if it wasn't for my kids, I wouldn't even celebrate them? Should I tell her how there will always be regret of what you didn't do, no matter how many people tell you it isn't true? Should I tell her how the day her mother died will be ingrained in her memory forever?
Should I tell her how much it hurts when I tell my boys about my mom, but they'll never meet her. Should I tell her about the day we were by a church that bells ring on the hour? Should I tell her that previously I told them how much my mom loved those bells. Should I tell her how my boys said to me,"Mommy, do you think Grandma Debbie can still hear the bells? How I have tears in my eyes now as I type this?
Should I tell her grief physically hits your body making, at times, not able to get things done? It's just too overwhelming. Should I tell her that I sniffed my mom's clothes so I could remember her? Should I tell her that it sucks that her mother isn't alive, and it will never stop sucking? Should I tell her about the time I told the boys we were going to the cemetery to see Grandma Debbie, and when we were at her grave, Tot said to me,"Mom, where is Grandma Debbie?" He didn't understand why he couldn't see her? Should I tell her that just last week, on the 7th anniversary on my mom's death, I had to tell Tot why he shouldn't stand on top of the mounds of dirt? S. and I tried to explain to him that people's bodies are underneath the ground. He didn't buy it, and recited the whole resurrection of Jesus, and how when the rock was taken away there was no body of Jesus.

Should I tell her it's lonely being without your mom, her right hand? Should I tell her how hard it is to see the world just going on even though she feels like she can't breathe. She misses her mom that much. Should I tell her how she will feel like staying in bed, or at least, feel overwhelmed even though there is no more on her 'mom plate' that usual.

Sure I can tell her all of those things, but this grief is hers, and she just has to grieve it in her way. I can tell her, however, that I will be there no matter what. She has officially become a member of the dead mother's club. A group no one wants to become a member of. No one...