Are You Talking to Me????

Today I took Steve to the dentist for the first time. It did not go well. I think Steve has had PMS this week, or at least the toddler form of PMS. He's OK one moment and the next POOF, he's down on the ground crying, while I am left wondering what in the hell happened here? So after bribing Steve to open his damn mouth because it took a lot for mommy to get his brother, him, not to mention herself ready to go to this appt., plus it's costing us money, so just be a good boy honey and OPEN YOUR DAMN MOUTH ALREADY! I love my son, I do, but his display of rudeness was SO embarressing, especially since he usually is such a happy kid. I told this to the dental hygienist, and she laughed like 'Yah, lady. Tell me another one!'. I wanted to yell, "I swear he really is happy, usually. He's just having a bad week!', but I know she would not have believed me. So daddy is taking him next time; in my dreams! Finally Steve did open his mouth so his teeth could be polished, and then the dentist had a look. So then I had to honor the bribe, and take him to the mall to Auntie Anne's for a pretzel and water. Yes, you heard right, water! I love that about my kid. He'll point to my drink, and say 'Coke.', and then turn and ask for water. And yes, he's had coke before courtesy of the grandparents.

Of course, Ryan gets hungry while we are there, so I took him out of his carrier and fed him. Then, shame on me, I tried to put him back into his carrier. The horror! So I decided not to strap him in until we got ready to leave. Fast forward to that lovely scene. Ryan SCREAMED, screamed like he hasn't screamed in a month or more! Steve ignored it, as usual, and I did my best to remain calm. Apparently, I did a good job of making it look like I was completely calm, because one of the clerks says to me, about Ryan,"He must have his Daddy's temper because his mom is so calm, cool and collected." I smiled, and thought to myself 'Is she talking to me?' It was then that I felt so proud of myself. For the first time I didn't get nervous as hell as my son screamed in a store. I just said to myself 'Babies cry. I'm doing my best. Everything is fine." And everything was fine. Knock on wood, I feel the best I have since my mom died. My therapist, Jeff and I believe it's a combo. of the meds. working, hormones in check, and ILs out of the picture. All I know is that I never want this feeling to end. I feel good, and that is so nice to be able to say!