One of Those Days

Yesterday, hubby of course had an after-work function. Let's just say that while S. and I were having waffles for dinner, need to go shopping!, he was having dinner at a French restaurant. On Monday, he didn't get home until after the kids went to bed. My exercise class has been changed to Tuesdays now, and my sitter had a doctor's appointment, so she couldn't make it. Hubby told me he SHOULD be able to make it home for my 8PM class. Lovely. And yesterday, he didn't get home until after 9PM. I am tired!!! Sick and tired of being a single parent! Then I find out he's going to Thailand for a week, soon. So great, now I have THAT to look forward to!!! The kids were great yesterday, so that was not the problem. I think it's all of this time that I have had to basically take care of the kids alone. I really do need a vacation, or a day to myself. Now hubby is great in the fact that he lets me sleep in on Saturday. He is a morning person; I am NOT. What drives me crazy though, is that as soon as he knows I'm up, he brings the kids in to 'see mommy'. Now you all know I absolutely adore my children, but can I have just one morning when I wake up where they're not thrust at me?!

I am really trying to tactfully tell hubby my feelings about this whole situation. Instead of what I used to say,"When you work more hours I work more hours, but I don't even get to pee by myself!", which is true, but puts him on the defensive, I say,"You know when you work more hours, I end up having to work more hours, it's just a different job." To which he replied seemingly sympathetically,"I know."

My hubby and kids can usually tell when I am getting increasingly stressed-out by how short the dog's fur is. Guys, I shaved the dog last night. I only trimmed her face, ears and legs, but her body is shaved. She had a lot of matts, and really needed a haircut. I just didn't want to drag the boys with to the groomer whereupon picking her up I get told how awful she is. I know they aren't lying, but you know when you're carrying two kids with you, well, I just don't give a crap how awful my dog was!!! Last time they had to muzzle her! She is 8 pounds, but I will admit that she is a scrappy dog. She is a Shih-Tzu, but she must never have gotten the memo that says a 'toy group dog' has a certain behavior that is definitely not aggressive. I love her though. One minute she can be a priss, and the next she has to have a muzzle on her! She is awesome with the boys, so we are lucky there.

I just am feeling unappreciated lately. S. wants his daddy, so I get the fact that he's never home taken out on me. My birthday is coming up, and hubby didn't call the babysitter early enough so we could have a night out. I told him I wasn't calling her. It was my birthday, therefore I shouldn't have to reserve the sitter. Joke's on me, huh? It's just so frustrating! The thing is I know that we need hubby's job to pay the bills, and that most jobs are going to require these types of long hours. So I try to deal with it and not take out my feelings on him. But we have barely spoken this week. He fell asleep on the couch a mere 30 minutes after arriving home yesterday. He complained he had a headache, and I told him I had my endometriosis pain but still had two kids to take care of. I know he's tired. I know he doesn't enjoy having to work all of these hours, but neither do I. As I told a friend who feels guilty about being a SAHM, hubby could not be the employee that he is without me. He can attend any meeting, go on any business trip, do anything he needs to because he has me. He knows the kids are well-taken care of. He doesn't have to pick the kids up by 6PM or pay the daycare a penalty. And his job ALWAYS comes first, because like I said, we need to be able to pay the bills like everyone else. So if he has to stay late, I have to cancel whatever I was planning on doing. He told me he has to interview someone today, so he should be home by 6:30. I have a therapy appt. at 7:00. I said,"Yah, I'd like to be able to make my mental health appt.!" It's not too much to ask, is it?

I will say that I really like hubby's boss and the company he works for. I know it's the nature of the beast. The higher up you get, the more money you make, the more hours you work. Moving closer to his work is not an option. The houses there are even more expensive than the houses in our town; we got in at a really good time. He commutes 45 minutes to an hour every day. He leaves at 6AM, and gets home by 6:30PM if we're lucky. This is just the way it is, and I have accepted it. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.