Our babysitter got a job; a real job. One that provides benefits, something that we can't give her. S. was very disappointed. I had to tell him that this frees up our time to do other things like swim lessons! Visits with friends to the park! The zoo! You can now go back to the gym's childcare center! I talked it up so much that it started to sound good even to me. Then I woke up this morning in a sweat. I remembered that there is only three weeks left of preschool. Three weeks! And six weeks until summer camp begins. Please don't think badly of me. I love my kids. I worked hard to have them, and I am thankful that God blessed me with them every single day. But, here's the but, how am I going to keep my four year-old entertained for an entire day, every day. I simply am not as cool as our 21 year-old sitter. I don't have as much energy, and I worry about messes.
Lately, I have been feeling kind of stuck again. It has been rainy for days now, and I feel so bored. We can't go anywhere after lunch because that is the Tot's naptime, and we don't mess with naptime around here! Basically, S. and I are confined to the house after 1:00PM every day. We have painted everything you can think of to paint, including clay flower pots. I have even hung foam summer shapes that we painted, from the ceiling. In our playroom only, I assure, but still. I am sick of play-dough, board games, coloring, you name it. Been there, done that. This weekend is also the 4th anniversary of my mom's death, so I am hoping that my attitude is centered around that event. If not, I have my lovely psychiatrist appointment on Monday, so I can tell him all about it. Did I mention that my original psychiatrist, the one who went through PPD herself, is and I quote here,"No longer with us." Did I also mention that the certified nurse practitioner that I see for my general health has left her practice too? Oh, and my original therapist left last May. So in one year, pretty much everyone has left the practice that I was seeing. Which leaves me to wonder: is my attitude contagious?
4 comments:
((((hug))))) praying for you this weekend, and I also you hope you find a way to make the lack of sitter issue work. I really get how daunting those long stretches of day can look.
I hope that you are able to figure something out with the sitter issue. Are you going to look for a new one?? Are there any teenagers in the neighborhood who would like to make some extra spending money? Just a thought. I will be thinking of you this weekend. Sending you a hug
This weekend is supposed to be nice so hopefully you will have no trouble finding something to distract you. I will be thinking about you!
I don't have a sitter but still have the problem of coming up with things to do with the kids. I hate the mess of painting and play doh! I dread summer coming because then both will be here and they fight like crazy when they are together.
Jenni
Bev,
This stuff happens all the time to me. In one period of time, I lost my ob/gyn, psych, therapsit, my pcp went part time, and I lost my hair stylist. Sadly I know exactly how you feel.
Don't repeat this, but it's ok to let S watch a show. Really it is.
I heard from some magnificant teaching professionals that this is ok. So that's our girly secret.
You know things will be better on monday. Getting through the weekend is the roughest. This will most likely be a sad lonely weekend, it's ok too. Just one weekend though. Our stories are so similar. Our sadness and happiness.
Can you take the kids to McDonalds or something just to get out of the house. Sometimes you gotta throw out your values and indulge.
I wish I could take your sadness away. I miss my family and my husband has a job interview this afternoon. I'm hoping he keeps princess at school because it's better for her to be with her friends then home with me, being laid up. She's so scared she's going to break me and I feel bad because this is the second weekend where i'm laid up. Gosh.
I hope you are feeling better. I was thinking yesterday while I was in preop surgery that I gotta start having fun. Fun as in silly people thinking i'm stupid fun. I take life so seriously and get caught up bad. Have you checked out any new music? Avril Lavegine is pretty good, there's a silly girlfriend song and then fort minor is pretty good.
Wel this is quite long and I don't think i've said anything useful.
I wish I could reach out and help you,.
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