Yesterday I went to dinner with my girlfriends and had a great time! We went to this new restaurant that was supposed to be really good, and it actually was. The atmosphere was so cool! I told Jeff it was definitely our kind of restaurant, and that I think Steve would really enjoy it too. Steve loves to just look around places, and this place has a tall waterfall with colored lights, and several salt water fish tanks with cool fish and even a few sharks. The best part was the conversation. It was just so nice to be able to share our experiences, complaints, and suggestions on motherhood. It was also nice to talk about our lives before we had kids. Usually when we get together it's with the kids. So you know how that goes, we get interrupted a lot, and the conversation generally focuses on the kids or our husbands. I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful it was to have a meal where I didn't have to worry about another person, and where we could just talk, and talk, and talk.... We were the last people to leave the restaurant, but that's common for us. Hey, we don't get out a lot:)
I came home in the best mood. I tell Jeff that these dinners really help me, and thus help our marriage. I just feel a little lighter when I come home. It's wonderful. Of course, when I leave Jeff with Steve I know things aren't going to be done to my liking, and I'm generally OK with that. Somehow, though, after asking Jeff to put back Steve's bathing supplies and it not getting done, I just got upset. Steve's bath toys and shampoo go on the back wall of the tub, a place that is not so easy for me to reach now that I'm 7 months pregnant. Jeff gave Steve a bath, which I really appreciated, but I always have to remind him to put the supplies away and not leave the in the middle of the bathroom. He usually will put them back after giving me a look like I'm the biggest nag. Not yesterday, so I ended up yelling at him as I loudly put them away. His response, "REMIND ME." I REMINDED HIM then that I did, and if I REMINDED HIM again he would think I was being a nag. Plus, come on. How hard is it to remember to clean up after yourself?! It's only like FOUR things he has to put back here. I know this is really a little thing to be bothered about, but it has been going on for months and it's just getting to me.
Anyway, back to my wonderful evening out, sort of. On Sunday when I was talking with my neighbors, they mentioned the restaurant that I went to last night. So I said that I would be going there Tuesday night and would let them know how it was. I would think the response to going out ONCE A MONTH sans kids would garner a more enthusiastic tone, but no. First the comments were the kind-of 'must be nice' variety combined with 'I always am with MY kids' ending. And that that is superior to spending some time with your girlfriends without your kids. Like that is being a better mother. I think occasionally getting away from my son makes me a better mother. I really do. It's like anything, you need a break sometimes to refuel. Jeff is OK with it too. The ironic thing is that my neighbors' husbands both go out at least once a week with the 'guys'. Why is this acceptable, but it is not acceptable for the moms to go out? I think it's a good thing for both to do, really. I am also getting a bit miffed by the idea that spending time with your kids 24/7 means you are a better mother. I am also miffed by the fact that some women are just not supportive of other women. Some articles call it the 'mommy wars'; but I think the word 'war' is too harsh. It's just I don't see men looking down on other men for not being with their children all the time. And I don't hear men being as critical about parenting issues either. Why are some women this way? I just wish there was more support than competition. We need each other.
On a less serious note, my grammar has been less than stellar in my diary writing. It embarresses me because I was a teacher and English was one of my favorite subjects to teach. I would not let my students begin their sentences with 'and' or 'but', but I do it here all the time. So please excuse my failure to edit; it's hard enough to get the time to write. Thanks.
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