I'm Going to Be OK

Thursday turned out to be worse than Wednesday; the PPD is indeed back. However, this time I recognized it and sought help right away. My OB really took me seriously too, probably because when I talked tohisnurse I couldn't stop crying. That is SO unlike me; I am in control of my emotions. At any rate, the short version of the story is that I have a new therapist, a new AD and I meet for the first time with a Psychiatrist next week. Fun, huh? I think the AD is helping because I have been able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I now can do little things with my kids like reading a book, changing a diaper and getting them dressed. I actually was able to play with Steve this morning and he was so happy. Depression is like being in hell; that's how I describe it. I was so scared to be alone, that this would never go away. I now have hope that it will. I now can feel love for my little baby Ryan again. I never felt like harming myself or my children, which is the first thing medical providers ask you. I just felt so alone, so sad, so dark. Jeff is taking another week off. I am hoping to be stablized enough by then that he can go to work without worrying. His mom will be with me helping out as needed, so that is good. Both of our families have been great. I am not embarressed about the depression, having it. If you feel you or someone you know has PPD or clinical depression, please get help. Don't delay feeling better. My journey out of PPD has just begun, but I have faith that I will recover. I have to, for myself and my boys, not to mention my wonderful husband. I can't imagine recovering without him.