Update On My Brother

The tests that came back have what the doctors believe to be a blockage, so my brother will be transferred to another hospital tomorrow morning. This hospital specializes in this type of care, and so he will be having an angio-gram there tomorrow. The kicker is he will have to be transferred by ambulance over to the new hospital. Yah, my brother has never had any type of health problems before, so this all is very difficult for him. He is very anxious. Luckily, three of my mom's friends still work on that floor, and they came and answered all of his questions which greatly helped to put him at ease.

Until 6:00PM it looked as though he was going home. In fact, we were on our way to church for our usual Christian Fellowship Night where we take a parenting class and the kids also have a class to go to. Well, The Tot goes to the nursery:) My dad called me on my cell, and told me the news and that my brother could really use me to come and see him. So hubby changed course, and headed to the hospital. The hospital where I gave birth to my two boys, the hospital where my mom died and spent ten years of her life caring for other patients. Anyway, my brother kept thanking me for coming, which made me feel good.

I did have a bit of a problem when I walked into the hospital. I hadn't been there since the Tot was born. That was a happy event, but my visits prior to that were not. When I punched in the number for the floor, it felt strange. And then when the doors opened up, and I looked for which way to turn, it hit me. Not only did my mom work on this floor, but she died on this floor. And this was the first time I had been back there. See the floor is divided into the Telemetry(heart)floor and the oncology unit. Just a few feet from where I exited the elevator stood the room where my mom had her chemo. in. A few feet from there, the main desks, and then the hospice room where my mom took her last breaths. My brother noticed that she had stopped breathing as the hospital was having their fire drill. Guess what happened tonight? Yep, as I was leaving there was a fire drill, and we were told we couldn't leave.

You know, I am the type of person who just sucks everything up. I admit that I am good in a crisis because I am able to stay calm and see the big picture. However, that is both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because I am able to make hard decisions quickly. It is a curse because I hold everything in during the event, and then I tend to have trouble afterwards because I haven't dealt with any of my feelings. So I'm going to share this only with you internet community. I am scared. I only have my brother and my dad. Yes, I have my awesome husband and children, but from my childhood family, my brother and dad are it.