Validation

This past Thursday was parent-teacher conferences at S.'s preschool. Out of all of the teachers, our conference was scheduled with the lead teacher. I told Hubby that I wasn't sure what that meant, but that I did feel that there was something pressing that she felt she needed to discuss with us. After all, back in December I did receive the 'he's been pushing and hitting during playtime, but we're working on it' response. I figured that S. must be at it again.

When Hubby and I walked in, we were very surprised by what we heard. We were given a sheet of paper with all of the things that the first-year preschoolers are learning, along with S=meeting the requirememts all of the time, M=most of the time and I=improvement needed. Well, S. had mainly S's even where behavior is concerned. And academically, well, I believe the remark was,"We don't have anybody that is as far along than S. is." I thought I was hearing wrong. Now it's not that I didn't think that S. was behind where he should be, but I just didn't think he was as bright as his teacher tells me is. I thought he was average, which is fine with me. I know I am a teacher and all, but I seriously don't push anything on S. I feel that at this age he should lead his own learning. If he is interested in something, I help him to learn about it. But I have never forcibly sat him down and presented him with what he'd be learning about on any given day. I even chose this preschool because it focused more on learning through play, as well as learning basic life skills. I feel that it is very important for kids this age to know how to get along with others, how to stand in a line, how to hold a pencil etc., how to use scissors and how to behave in a group setting. When signing up S. for preschool, others seemed to be surprised by my not choosing 'the' academic program in the area. After many a discussion with other parents, I began to feel that maybe my kid wouldn't be getting what he needed. Maybe they were right; maybe he would not have the necessary kindergarten readiness skills. I began to feel some anxiety over the whole thing. Through it all though, I stuck to what I felt was important for S. to know.

I feel my instincts, my choice, was validated on Thursday. By not going along with everyone else and only keeping my own son in mind, I made the right decision. I didn't know that knowing all the alphabet and spelling words, counting to beyond 30, knowing how to write, being able to complete calendar activities about weather, using transitioning numbers, etc., etc. was beyond what is expected. I taught older kids; I honestly didn't know what four-year olds are supposed to know. I'm not bragging either about my son's skills; I'm just trying to write it all down so I can remember what it is that he knows. Things get busy around here, and I forget things that I swore I'd remember. His teacher suggested teaching him to read. He's ready. I asked S. to tell me when he'd like to start to learn how to read. I won't teach him until he wants to learn it. That's what I have been doing.

S. lately has been so interested in learning how to tell time that I bought The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle. I used this book to teach my second graders time, and it they loved it. Come to find out, that S. loves it too. He's mastered the basic elements of time, and is starting to learn to tell time to the minute. No pressure here, though. I'm proud of my little guy. I know he tries my patience something fierce, but I have to remember times like this. His teacher told me to continue to do what I'm doing, because it's obviously working. I think I smiled the whole day, because in this motherhood game it is rare to get a pat on the back like that. Usually, we hear only what we need to be doing. Meaning we are doing a lot wrong. I am particularly hard on myself, therefore hearing that I am doing something right for my son means all the world to me. Now if my younger son would simply say something consistently, that would be nice too!