Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Money Shot

No, it's not that money shot. Lord knows no one would pay me to give them that! No, what I have recently been wondering is a bit different than that. I'll just come out and say it. My son S. seeing me naked is beginning to make me uncomfortable. Just the other day my husband told S. to show me something, and I had just come out of the shower and was putting my underwear on . Guys, I was facing the opposite way from him while putting on my underwear. Think about it. The only way I can put it more clearly is even my husband can only see it when he is behind me while we're having sex. Sorry for that image! You with me now? I turned around quickly, but he didn't seem to show any signs of thinking maybe he shouldn't have seen his mother's, hell, everything. Me, well, I was a little freaked out. My husband, though, didn't seem to think there was anything wrong.

Another day my husband told me to come quick and look at something. At the time, I was naked again. (No, I am not always naked, I assure you.) I thought something was wrong, so I walked quickly out of my room. Tot looked at me; S. again, didn't seem to notice. (Tot has a thing with my breasts. He stares at them or pats them all the time lately when I have my shirt ON. It's weird.) Again, I did not feel comfortable. You know, I don't like being topless in front of them, but them seeing me completely nude really bothers me. I also don't want them to be scarred for life with images of their naked mother in their head. Think about how much sex they'd have with that image in their heads! Hey, maybe I should walk around them naked while their in high school!

Guys, particularly mothers of boys, when does it stop being appropriate to be naked in front of your sons? I mean, I know I'm weirded out, but when will it be bad for them to see me naked? My husband doesn't see any problem with this. Course, I could ask him when the last time he remembers seeing his mother naked? That 'll put it into perspective for him! Seriously, give me your opinions.....

Friday, February 22, 2008


Today I went to S.'s second year preschool evaluation/conference. It went very well. His social skills have improved from last year, and as his teacher told me, he can now 'hold his own'. I was very happy to hear that! I've always worried about S.; he's a very sensitive kid. I have a dilemma, though. S. is a bright kid. He's on target in all areas, but, and hope this doesn't sound like bragging, but he is very talented in math. He loves it! To give you an example of his knowledge, S. can tell time to the minute on an analog clock. My niece, who is 9 months older, cannot nor should she be expected to. In front of her, I had to describe what I believe to be true. God gives everyone a gift. I told her S.'s was math, and she came up with hers. I felt bad about that, because everyone was focusing on S. and his abilities of things she can't do, that most kids that age can't.

S. can also add single digits, such as 9+9 as well as double-digits like 20+20 or 50+50 etc. He can count by 5's and 20's; he hasn't tried any others yet. I am very proud of him as you can probably guess. My real dilemma comes from how to best enrich and challenge him next year when he goes to kindergarten. Before you view me as one of those moms, let me tell you that I worked in the school district he will go to. I have already signed him up for kindergarten there. It is an excellent school district, and has been rated very well. However, having taught there myself, I know certain things that make me pause.

Like many school districts, ours is a full inclusion one. Which means all learning disabled as well as children with social/emotional problems are in the regular classroom. I think having children with minor learning and behavior problems is fine, even beneficial in a classroom. I do not believe that a child who is a fourth grader reading at a first grade level is best being served in the 'regular' classroom, nor is it the best thing for the students around them. This very thing happened in my classroom when I taught fourth grade. The ones who need the most help get it at the expense of other children. My biggest concern, though, is a behavior disordered child being in my son's classroom. I have credentials in that area too, so like the LD kids, I often had the BD students as well. There were many disruptions from those students that came at the expense of ALL the other children. A few of the things I had to deal with were: fires, police escorts, parental threats, fights, other students being scared, other parents calling me upset, etc. etc. with VERY little support. Teachers try their best to meet the needs of all their students, but there is only one of us and thirty of them. Yes, I have had an aide before, but she could only work with the LD/BD students, and seldom did she stay for long periods of time. I'd like to say this is an isolated example, but it's not. I have taught at three different school districts and have witnessed this at each. Remember, though, I am not talking about children with minor problems such as ADHD. I know some of you who live with children with this disability would not agree with me that ADHD is a 'minor' problem, but in the scheme of things it can be. I am a little biased, though, as I really have enjoyed working with these children.

What does this all have to my with son? I worry about S.'s needs being met. I worry about my son being physically bullied. Remember he is a VERY sensitive child. Our school district does a good job at meeting the average needs, and does a great job of educating children with special needs. However, until third grade when kids can receive enrichment services, those kids often are the ones who sit and are bored. Oh, come third grade, our district offers an 'academically talented' AKA: 'gifted' program. I don't think my child will need this program, though. Maybe he will, who knows.

I've been thinking of putting him in the private Christian school nearby, which offers an all-day kindergarten where they teach enrichment activities in the afternoon. This school is quite pricey, though. I mean, very pricey. It is an excellent school that would definitely meets his needs. Should I try the public school first, and if we weren't happy, switch him to the private school? Would it be a hard change for him? Would he still be eager to go to school if he's bored? Or should I put him in the private school, and see how that goes first? I really don't want my kids to bounce around from one school to another, as I had to with our near constant moving. I just want what's best for my son. Trouble is, how do I figure that out? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Little Courtesy

My contractor guy had to come late today since he had to drop his son off at the airport. Fine. He told me he'd be here to grout the tile at 11:30. It is now going on 12:30, and I have not heard from him. Is it too much to ask that he call me to tell me he's running late? A little common courtesy would be nice!

**I just had to put the boys in their rooms, because they were throwing toys and generally doing everything they know they're not supposed to do. I'm sick of this! I have played the game 'Trouble' more times than I can count. We played 'Candyland. We baked brownies. They had a mid-morning snack. I let them watch TV while I was taking a shower. What else can I do guys? I'm nearly in tears right now.

Monday, February 18, 2008


I have had a lot to blog about lately, but no time. Now don't get the wrong idea. I haven't been doing anything fun. Nope, I've basically been inside with the boys. This week it gets worse. S. is home all week! Did I mention it has been snowy and cold? It has. Well, yesterday it was just rainy, and then it got cold last night, so we have the lovely ice to deal with now. Our city is also almost out of salt. They didn't plan on needing so much. We've had over 47 inches so far! Yep. This year I had to learn how to use the snowblower. Oh, the fun we have in Illinois!

I have more than cabin fever. Being stuck in the house with basically no human interaction beyond a phone call, has really gotten to me. We've had virtually no sun. Day after day, it's cloudy. Or cloudy and snowy. Or once in a while, cloudy and rainy. I'm tired of it guys. Last year wasn't nearly as cold, snowy or cloudy. Last year I was able to go to the gym and work out, which is a lifesaver to me! This year I don't have a sitter. Plus, Hubby has been working so many hours, there's little time, and the time I do have is very cold and it's at night. I miss it. I really do. I'm tired of this winter. Call it seasonal affective disorder or depression. I don't know exactly which one it is, although I suspect them both. Hubby and I have not had a date night that was not work related since...I really don't know when, and that's not us. I feel that if I don't get out of this house soon, and without children, I'm going to lose it! Figuratively speaking, not literally.

Monday, February 04, 2008

I Don't Know What To Say; Two Losses, One Close To Home

There are two things currently rendering me speechless. The first one is a fellow blogger named Mary Ellen. Many of you may know her. She has gone through multiple years of hell trying to conquer infertility. It finally looked as though a light had shined down on her when she became pregnant with triplets. Three little girls as it turns out. Well, after a not so easy pregnancy, Mary Ellen lost all three babies at nearly 19 weeks.
I thought that I had it rough with my infertility. And I did, I really did. However, when I began reading ME's blog it occurred to me that things could have been even worse. I can't even begin to understand why these beautiful little girls were taken from a wonderful, loving couple. I usually believe there is a reason for everything, but I can't for the life of me figure out the reason for this. I can only imagine how much ME's heart is breaking right now. Rest in peace Sylvia, Claire and Lucy. Rest in peace.

Unfortunately, there was another awful thing that happened this weekend, and it happened in the town I grew up in. When I lived in this town there was not much there in terms of strip malls and such. In fact, our grade school was surrounded by farms. I remember getting stern warnings if I ever went into the cornfields. It's hard to believe that now with all of the growth. At any rate, there was a shooting in a Lane Bryant store. Five women were killed. Five! It blew my mind, because we suburbanites think we are so safe from crime. You know the whole 'things like that don't happen here' belief. Well, they do now. The story was on the front page of every newspaper, and was on all of the afternoon as well as the evening news programs. All I could do was to pray for the victims and their families. One woman's family was interviewed. The woman's sister told the reporter that her sister had a daughter who is entering her teens. She said the daughter needs her mother. Every girl/woman needs her mother. Every last one of us.