Sunday, December 28, 2008
We're going to see the movie with Tom Cruise in it. I keep forgetting the name. It's the one that starts with a 'V'. I am a huge history buff, particularly of WW2. (My grandfather was stationed in Germany. He wasn't on the front lines, but instead was housed by a German family who could have gotten killed had they discovered my grandfather was living there. Anyway, he fell in love with the family's daughter Marianne. In fact, he stayed in Germany after the war much to the dismay of my great-grandparents. They were going to get married, but I don't know why they didn't. Years later, Marianne moved to the states, and called my grandfather. My grandmother answered the phone and said that upon hearing Marianne's voice, knew it was her. I'm thinkin' the thick German accent might have tipped her off! Never the jealous wife, she told my grandfather, and then I don't remember what happened. I have seen a picture of her when my grandfather put together all of his pictures from the war. I asked him to do that, and that that is the only thing I want when he passes. It's more special to me than any material possession.) Wow! I didn't know I go there! Hey, at least it's not about the weather.....
***I'll post some things from our Christmas later.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The last time I wrote, we were in the midst of a snowstorm. Christmas Day was in the single digits. Just yesterday, the streets were all a sheet of ice. So much so, that we didn't even get our newspaper delivered or our garbage picked up.
Today my friends, the high was 64 and rain, with towns that are having flooding issues, which leaves me to ask the following question: WTF is up with our weather?
I promise a more exciting entry next time!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Yesterday was in the single-digits with no snow, so I did the last of my shopping and went to get groceries since I'm hosting Christmas. I am glad that I did! I think this confirms my worst fears, this winter is not going to be any better than last year's. In fact, it may be worse.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Well, I best be going as both boys are in their rooms and it's only 9:30AM here. Already they have been awful. This is going to be a long day.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Today, we are supposed to get the worst of the worst. The one thing Midwesterners at least the ones I know, dare not talk about. An ice storm. Hubby was mad at me for using one bag of salt for just Monday and Tuesday. (On Monday our van kept sliding down the driveway, so I had to use a lot salt). Boy this one is going to freak him the fuck out. I am sure I will be hearing about it too. I told the boys to pray that the ice doesn't come, and that we are all safe in our home with electricity. Ice freaks me out. Most Midwesterners are a tough breed. We really are. But even we fear these storms. Think downed wires, no electricity and wind chills in the single digits. Did I mention my cell phone is no longer working??? I hate snow, I hate ice, basically I hate winter...with a passion. But with part of California snowing, where is there to go???
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
- I haven't made Christmas cookies in a few years because that's what my mom and I used to do together. This year I thought, 'Hey, what a good idea making cookies would be.' It wasn't. Tot made cookies with me. Yes, I let him make cookies with me. Aren't I a good mom?! We made gingerbread men. It took forever and I had a huge mess to clean up. I hate messes in the kitchen. The boys and I tried the cookies after dinner. I literally spit mine out! I never like to do that in front of the boys, but they were awful! Too much molasses I think. I followed the recipe exactly. The boys loved them, though.
- The next day I thought I would make my Grandmother's German butter cookies recipe. It makes lots of cookies, and I thought it would be nice if I gave some to the neighbors and such. This recipe includes putting the dough through a cookie press. I bought this cookie press at William's Sonoma a few years back, and loved it. This year, not so much. I won't get into the gory details, but let's just say this cookie press ended up in our garbage can in not the same condition it was when it left its' box. Some banging and throwing took place, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
- The next day I decided to make my grandmother's meltaway cookies. I had already bought the ingredients, and the recipe is really easy. Plus, it involves chocolate. Yum!....... It also required the use of our hand mixer. The same mixer I had used the day before with the butter cookie disaster. Guys, as I was mixing the dough I smelled something. Then I saw it. Smoke. My mixer was literally starting to burn. I'm thinkin' someone or something was trying to tell me not to bake this year. Not to try to make this holiday better. It blows and in some ways I think it always will.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Oh, it's not over there. We went to church that night. What does he do you ask? He put on his boots and walked onto my beige carpet on his way to the garage. That would have been bad enough by itself, but he then decided to walk around in the family room on said beige carpet. There was so much mud! I couldn't even talk, and when I did I said to him,"What were you thinking? Of course, he wasn't. I told him that when we got home he would be cleaning the carpet. This upset him, but I firmly believe in natural consequences. You make the mess, you clean it up and maybe you'll think next time before you walk down the stairs in boots. Or better yet, you should listen to your mother and NOT go into the snow and mud. But I digress.
S. was not happy about cleaning the carpet when we got home, but he did it. He actually did a good job too!
Why is it that my kids never listen to me? That it takes them seeing what the result of their actions will be? This has been a very challenging week! Oh, and I still am not feeling well due to the bladder infection I've been sporting around for almost 7 weeks. I'm really pissed off about it, and believe that the doctor needs to give me something strong to knock this thing out. I'm miserable asshole!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
S. is in what Hubby refers to as 'the United Nations', of classrooms. He really is. When I went to be the 'paint mom' a few weeks back, I saw all of the different types of children. Black, white, Arab, Hispanic; it was cool! I want S. to be in a room like that, because that is the way the world is. He also has children with learning and behavior disabilities in his room. He is meeting all of the milestones, so I'm cool with that too. His teacher told me that there is a lot of distractions with kids going in and out to be serviced one on one. S. is handling it very well. I was concerned about this in the beginning, but things are working out.
In S.'s classroom there is a Barack. Every time he says his name, I just laugh. I'm sure his parents never in a million years thought that someday their child would have his name in common with a president. Anyway, I told S. that his classmate has the same name of our new president. S. looked at me, and very seriously said, "No, it's Obama." Well, at least he knows the presidents name!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
I am now on my second antibiotic. The first one didn't work. Lovely. Just what I need. Not only do I feel like crap, but now I have to see the doctor again in a week to provide another 'sample' to be cultured. I'm beyond tired of this. I've been dealing with this now for almost a month. It's time that I feel better. I just need to figure out how to fit a little bit of time for me. Not for a massage, not for shopping, but to go to a doctor. Life as a mom has been really exciting lately!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I was in the city today as well. S. had off of school today, so my friend and I took our kids to see a children's play and then off to lunch at the 'train place'. A good day was had by all! Oh, my boys LOVE the city. (We weren't in the downtown area.) They ask me as I go down a street if we are in the city yet, and then on the way home if we are out of the city yet. It's too cute. I love the city too. The safe parts of course. Much more culture and diversity. You can walk pretty much anywhere. There is lots to do there. However, the schools are much better in the 'burbs. Well, that and other things I'm sure.
Tomorrow we'll have a president!
Monday, November 03, 2008
- This morning started off with me spilling my son's entire glass of milk all over the kitchen floor. I mean there was milk on the cabinets, inside the cabinets, on our tables and chairs, on the stove and inside the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher. I was going to empty the dishwasher after I handed S. his milk. Needless to say, that dishwasher will be mighty full tonight!
- There was the umpteenth wasp on our sliding door. I couldn't find bug spray. I called Hubby who told me to go to Target. Told him that wasn't going to help me right then. I opened up the screen, and basically willed that stupid bug out the door. While this bug remained on the door, I had to tell the kids to hurry up and eat their lunch since S. had to get on the PM kindergarten bus.
- We walked out the door at the usual time. Remember this was the bus which, only a few weeks ago, had never showed up. Well, today it showed up all right. And early too. Gee thanks bus driver! I had to run with S. to the bus. In sandals since it was so nice out. The boys have tried these sandals on so many times they are stretched out, which has made them very hard to run in.
- I had to mail the bills. We take them to the post office because I do not leave anything with money in our mailbox. We had an incident years ago. On the way, Tot starts screaming, "I don't want to go to the gym!" (His tumbling class.) This is the only day that a friend and I get to see each other. We go, I ask him one more time if he wants to play. He says no. I tell him to sit on the bench while I go in the play area. You can guess what happened next.
- I had to go to the urologist. Last Monday I had a bladder infection and was put on some meds. I still didn't feel well today. Tot got to see the doctor's bathroom again, and I made my 'sample'.
- I had lunch around 2PM. I went out to get S. off the bus at the usual time. Do you see where this is going? Yep, I heard the bus, and had to run again, in the same sandals. Hey, I didn't think I was going to miss the bus a second time! (Prior to this, I had almost always been the first one at the corner.)
- Get phone call. Hubby is going to be late. He also has to be downtown tomorrow. Think about it. Obama is having his presidential party thing there. He and only one million of his friends! Public transportation will be a nightmare, and don't even think about driving. Mayor 'asshole' Daley tells people that they should leave their jobs early. Around 3:00PM. Okay....How are that many people going to leave their jobs? How would anything get done?! Moron!
- I have worried so much I have literally made myself sick. Think back to The Taste of Chicago. Remember the gunfire and the gang activity the night of the fireworks? This is likely to be worse. When Mayor Daley tells you to get the fuck out of Dodge, you KNOW things are going to be bad! I can't stand the thought of losing my husband. I'm not being ridiculous about this. We ARE the murder capital of the entire country after all!
I think that's about all. I have to go wash my hair. I just got it highlighted and colored red. I love it! I only hope that the red stays in my hair this time. Sorry for being a downer. Oh, Hubby just got home. He's going to put the boys to bed. Things are looking up!
Friday, October 24, 2008
This was the lovely old faucet with the missing cap. The one I refused to replace, because I wasn't going to spend one more dime on that old bathroom!
Another special item in the 80's bathroom. The ceramic tile......!!!
Here is the new and improved version. You can kind-of see the color we put on the walls. Let me say this: THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ANY MORE WALLPAPER IN MY HOME AS LONG AS I LIVE HERE, WHICH THE WAY THE ECONOMY IS GOING, WILL BE A VERY LONG TIME! And you can hold me to that.
Here is the back splash in my shower/bathtub. You can see the faucet and the shower head. I love the shower head, and no it doesn't move so it is not for that reason! I wish I had taken a picture of the shelves and soap dish which are travertine. I wanted that stone for the floor, but not only is it a bit over-priced, but it would have been higher that the rest of the flooring in my house, as well as a hazard when the floor is wet. I don't think me lying on the floor naked after a shower would be a good look:) Especially if my husband wasn't home, and I had to tell my son, hopefully the older one who knows his numbers, to get a neighbor or call 911. It makes me remember that scene on Sex and the City when Miranda throws out her back, and Carrie sends her boyfriend Aidan over. She, Miranda, is mortified because Aidan had seen her naked. Yeah, I think I've watched that episode too many times. But that's how I would feel. Needless to say, I chose different tile.
Oh, here is the special vanity. Look at the beautiful handles! They don't make 'em like that anymore. (Thankfully!) Those fake wood doors are pretty special too! Too bad I didn't take a picture of the cultured marble sink that had seen better days. Much better days.
Some Pictures of the Demo:
Where the toilet used to be. The tile from the bathtub is behind there.
The old bathtub as the tile is being taken down.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Anyway, back to my boy. Having said all this, I know S. is all boy, and therefore he wants to do 'boy things'. His dad can only do these things on the weekends, and sometimes S. wants to do these things during the week. What's a mom to do? Let me tell you what I do. I have played catch with the baseball. I have also done this with a football. I have explained to him how to do these two things correctly. Yeah, me. That's a laugh, isn't it? I have showed him how to hit a ball on the tee my dad bought. Me, the 'the anti-sport'. But what can a mother with boys do? I believe you suck it up, and just do it. I actually think the people on my block are surprised to see us. Surprised to see a 'girl' out there teaching her son sports-related things. And THAT I love.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Here is the Coach purse.
***By the way, I finally got my period last week. I couldn't believe that my cycle had been 57 days ! As long as everything is okay, I wouldn't mind another long cycle. Pure bliss.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
I have always looked forward to the weekends, mainly because Hubby is home. Him being home means I can actually go out myself. I can get my hair done, and not worry if I'm going to make it to an appointment on time. My friends amd I can have a girls' night out. Saturdays are great! This Saturday Hubby had to go into the office, and then he brought his laptop home to do even more work. See the boys look forward to Saturdays almost as much as I do. It's their 'Daddy Time', which is important for them all. Since Hubby couldn't be with them, I tried to make it up to them, but I know I'm not their father. I am trying to be both mommy and daddy, and to tell you the truth, I am afraid I'm not doing either one well enough.
I feel like the more Hubby has to work, the more things I take over. For example, Hubby used to take the boys with him to get their hair cuts. After S.'s hair was looking pretty scruffy, he got mad and told Hubby he needed a haircut. It was funny because I was thinking the same thing! Well, I finally took both kids to the barber. It needed to be done, and I know Hubby would appreciate having one less thing on his plate. Sometimes, though, I just feel like the nanny. I just attend to other peoples' needs.
Yesterday the kids were being all bossy and telling me what to do for them. Their attitudes were so bad, that I put them in their rooms. Believe me, it was the best thing for us all. I am a ball of stress lately, so treating me like hired help was not going over well with me.
Another thing that bothers me is since I never really get to go anywhere, I don't have a reason to spend more time to make myself look good. This bothers me because even when I had a baby, most of the time I managed to put a little powder and/or lipstick on. That's just me. I love make up. It's my 'thing.' I still do put some make up on, but I don't worry too much if my clothes, makeup etc doesn't look good. I only go to Tot's preschool drop-off and S.'s bus stop. The barber now too. (Maybe I should see if the barber can cut my hair too. One less thing to worry about!) I feel frumpy and old. I see lines on my face that weren't there just five years ago. The stress has shown up on my face. Yeah, I even pull my face upward to see what it used to look like with no wrinkles! Oh, and a little Botox. I swore, swore I would never touche the stuff. I probably still won't, but there are those days....
Sorry to be such a complainer. This day was better than yesterday, but I am still feeling angry and burned out. Stressed to the max!
Monday, October 06, 2008
This morning I was trying to be all positive. It almost worked too, until it was time to take S. to the bus stop with Tot in tow. We got there at the time we are supposed to: 11:30. We waited...and we waited...and then we waited some more. When the time school actually started came, I started to get really pissed off! I was trying to maintain my cool because I didn't want S. to worry. Two cars went by, rolled down their windows, and told me that they had been waiting for the school bus and now were just driving their kids to school. I decided to do that too. I don't think I have walked that fast in a long time. I was so angry! I drove S. over to his school, parked and brought him inside. The woman said to me that our bus had called them, and said that it was running really late. I replied, We waited 25 minutes." I tried to keep my cool again, because it wasn't this woman's fault. As S. walked to class, I told him his teacher wouldn't be made at him, and to relax, these things happen. I should have taken my own advice!
Monday afternoon happens to be Tot's day for tumbling. Yeah, wouldn't you know? We were a half hour late. No one could believe that the bus never came to pick us up. I mean, how long did they expect us to wait??? And what the hell was causing them to be so late anyway??? All I know is this day has not been the greatest.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
It did make my heart sad when S. said to my father,"We are walking for someone who's far away. She's up there (fingers pointing upward) in heaven with God." And that I know is true.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Later two friends of mine came up to me to tell me the same story. Well, close to the same story. They didn't try to hold her hand. They kept saying to me,"She really does look like you." The next year when the high school yearbook was out, I heard from more people how this same girl looked, yep, just like ME, and these people didn't even know the others.
Two years ago while I was running the track at the gym, a man came up to me and started talking. I had my headphones on, so I could only see his surprised expression when he realized I wasn't the woman he thought I was. I took the headphones off, and he was so stunned that he told me the woman's name, Brigette..., and exactly where she worked. He said it was like looking in the mirror. It shocked him. O--kay.
And then I finally had it happen to me. Tot started the new session of tumbling. We have new people who have joined. We all start out in a large, red circle. Since it was the first class, we all introduced ourselves. As we went around the circle, I saw her. Now I was the person with the shocked look on her face. Guys, she looks just like me, expect with blue eyes. It's freaky! It really is like looking in the mirror. Maybe everyone really does have a twin.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Oh, and I am on cycle day 55 or so. There is no one who can watch my kids this week, so I'm not calling my GYN. Isn't that sad? I can't even go to the doctor.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 07, 2008
When I got to the corner where we turn, I saw a Burger King. I figured he couldn't make it until we got to the nicer town, so I reluctantly turned into the parking lot. Let me say this. ***I hate public restrooms, particularly those of fast food restaurants. They are seldom clean, and I just get a feeling of 'ick' whenever I'm in one. I ran with Tot in hand, and S. following behind, into the bathroom. I felt a sense of dread when I realized that there were only two stalls and one was out of order, and the other 'occupied'. I kept talking loudly about Tot holding it hoping that would make the person in that stall hurry up. When she left, in we went. We made it! And on the way out, I wiped Tot, S.'s and my hands with the wipees that were in my purse. Unfortunately, I watched Oprah one day when their 'germ expert' was on, and I cannot for the life of me get the info. of a sink is the dirtiest place in the bathroom out of my head. That we are most likely to get sick from it, rather than the toilet. That the toilet is cleaner than the sink! Well, I also can't get the info. that one must use a kitchen brush-thing to clean the kitchen sink, because germs will continue to stick there if we don't. Hubby suggested I not watch anymore shows about germs. I'm tryin'! I'm also trying to stay out of fast food restaurant bathrooms. Hopefully, Tot will let me!
***The exception is the McDonald's restaurant in Albion, Michigan. That Mickie D.'s had the cleanest bathrooms of all restaurants, not just fast food restaurant, that I have ever been in. I should've written them that. Ah..I always have good intentions.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
I am on day 37, dangerously close to day 40, at which I think I will call my gynecologist and ask him WTF to do. I have never been in this position before. Well, except when I was on injectables and developed a 33mm cyst, which apparently is very common when taking injectable drugs like Follistim, which I was on. But, and I repeat, I am not on ANY fertility drugs this time. So, do I ask for Provera? Will he want to me to have an U/S to check for cysts? Crap! I don't want to have an U/S. Those were only fun when I had a baby inside of me. I also haven't had a pap since my oldest was 6 weeks old. I am tellin' the truth on that one. My OB didn't give me one in the first trimester with Tot due to the twins' situation, and they forgot to give me one at Tot's 6-week check-up, and I did think of telling them, but I was real tired of having that part of my anatomy touched! So I am also nervous that they'll want me to come in for that, and I have no sitter and my husband works ridiculous hours, and did I mention that he is now on a jury for a case that will take at least 2-3 weeks?! I don't think they'll excuse him to watch our kids due to his wife having to go to the gynecologist! Okay, that's all besides the point.
You want to hear what my husband said to me when I told him how late I am? "Did you take a test?" I responded with,"Did you forget you had a vasectomy?" And with that, I will go and change Tot's poopy diaper that he made during nap time, because this child will not go poop on the potty no matter how many things that I try to bribe him with! Stubborn little shit, ain't he? No pun intended.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Now onto Tot's funny story. Monday, the whole family went grocery shopping. Do we know how to celebrate a holiday or what! Well, I needed to buy some tampons, so off we went to that aisle. As we started walking Tot said,"Why are we in the diaper aisle?" Hubby and I just laughed. But then Tot says pointing to a box of Tampax,"I want those." I just told him that he will never be in need of any of these items and walked away. Kids sure say the darn-est things, and made the end of our holiday weekend more bearable.
Friday, August 29, 2008
On Sunday, I had my official 'meltdown'. I can't believe my miracle baby, the baby we tried so long and hard to have, was now old enough to go to 'regular' school. He had been nervous all week, and had so much energy that I think that was how God made his leaving easier for me!
Hubby was able to work from home, so he could be there with me to walk S. to the bus stop, as well as pick him up. S. didn't know Daddy was staying home, so this was a big surprise to him! Another surprise for us is that the weather sucked! It rained, and rained and rained! Of course, after we got him on the bus, it stopped. All I can say is, it's a good thing he's a boy, because we didn't have to worry about fixing his hair.
S. has been so excited about going on the school bus all summer long. He looked a bit nervous as he boarded the bus, but he found a seat quickly and off he went! Turning around to go home was bittersweet. I was so excited for him, but at the same time I was a little sad. My baby was 'officially' a kindergartener, and he is moving farther and farther away from me.
It has been a hard adjustment for me. This kindergarten thing. My days are completely different. S. has afternoon kindergarten which means that I have to get him to the bus by 11:30. It is almost impossible to plan something for the morning. Then he is only at school two and a half hours, making only a few short trips possible. No more plays, trips to the zoo, trips to a playground, lunches out with friends or play old hanging out and doing crafts.To be honest, though, I don't deal well with change. Never have, and probably never will. Sunday nights have been hard for me lately. At least Hubby is there to talk to.
About four weeks prior to school starting, I called his principal to let her know about S.'s math abilities, so she could let his teacher know. His principal was nice and all, and even suggested maybe sending him to first grade for math. She also switched him to a teacher she felt would be better able to service/challenge him well, however she never told S.'s teacher about him. I felt like an ass when I brought S. up to her, and introduced him like she should have already known who he was, as well as his special needs. When she looked at me quizzingly, I asked her if the principal told her about S. You could tell she was peeved at her principal. I mean orientation/open house is not the time to find out that you have a student with special needs, that are not learning disabled but rather has a higher ability level. Our school district is full-inclusion, which basically means a student has to have a disability that is severe in order to be put in a self-contained classroom. (I could tell you stories!) I feel badly for S.'s teacher since she has both ends of the spectrum in her classroom. I've been there, and I can tell you how hard it is to meet every one's needs. It's almost impossible.
As I told the principal, we are going to give this school a try and see what happens. She acknowledged that S. could get bored or not want to come to school. I agree. I will be an advocate for my son. I know this district inside and out, and I know how they pull the wool over parents' eyes. Most times parents don't know that their child has a classroom with children with major learning disabilities and behavior disabilities. I'm not talking about children in wheelchairs with merely physical disabilities. I actually feel that benefits kids, and makes them more compassionate. I'm talking about having children with autism, not minor autism, children with major emotional/behavior disorders that bring box cutters to school in the THIRD grade. Students delivered by the police several times a week. Students who disrupt the entire class when their parent forgot/didn't want to give them their medicine. Students' parents that threaten you in front of other children; that actually happened to me! The police would stand out in the hallway then. I could tell you some awful stories, because I was the teacher who would get these students, because I was so good with them! Thanks!
The main thing that would bother me is these students have to be pulled from the classroom many times, and we were told that we could not teach anything else when they were gone, because they couldn't miss any of that instruction. I always tried to schedule my special needs pull-out in the mornings when I had 'Daily Oral Language' because I would simply type up what I put on the board, and when they came back they could follow with us as we went over that skill. I always felt badly for the parents, because I couldn't tell them the extent of the problem. Well, now you see why I am reluctant to send S. to this district. Now before you think we live in a bad school district, it actually has high test scores. Teachers bust their asses for this to happen. (We also have a gifted program that is in a self-contained classroom, which certainly helps.) I won't go on about my disdain over these 'tests'. I will only say that I don't like them.
Well, enough about the bad stuff. The good things are that S. likes going to school. He likes riding the bus, and feeling like a big boy. He tells his brother all about kindergarten. It's too cute! He seems to like his teacher, and loves their snack of chocolate milk and graham crackers. I hear all about that!
I'll leave you with a picture of my big boy getting on the bus. Tugs at my heartstrings every time he climbs onto that bus. I have to remember he's a big boy now, and I have to let him go whether I want to or not, and I'd rather not.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
See, I love 'Shark Week' on the Discovery Channel. I always have. Now that my children are old enough to watch it, we watch it together. I did not realize what S. would take from that week. I do now. His picture showed a shark with a smiley face going up to eat a seal that had a sad face on it. Apparently, my son was actually listening to the program! I guess he learned how 'nature' works, and wanted to share it with others. I wish he was like his brother who only wants to wear, watch and talk about sharks.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I don't want to seem like a snob, but I haven't gone into a dollar store in decades. I figured things would be made poorly and the like. However, I wanted to buy twenty items and cheap! Well, I found nirvana there.
Not only did I get twenty presents for twenty dollars, but I found other items as well. I was so surprised to find that there were some name brand things in there! Of course, there were items I have not seen since my childhood, but all in all it was a positive experience.
I can't say this will be a store that I will frequent, but now that I know what it sells, I will now go back when I need one of those items. I will no longer be a snob about where I buy things. Okay, I will try not to be a snob about it!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I met my 'special guy' during my freshman year of high school. In the beginning of the year, I found him annoying, but by the end I was 'in love'. Jason was a popular football player, who hated my old boyfriend, another football player. We bonded over our hate for him, and later discovered that we liked each other quite a bit. That was the beginning of a three year, on again off again relationship that did not end well at all. AT ALL.
Jason spoiled me. His family had more money than mine. I had to use my babysitting money if I wanted to buy a hot lunch at school. Jason took care of that. He gave me lunch money. He would also give me my favorite candies and flowers in my locker. He treated me as if I was the most important person in his life, and in some ways I believe I was. He was also possessive, and as a teenage girl I thought that proved he loved me. When this one guy, Rick, would hit on me in Math class, Jason would literally go into the classroom to ask him what his problem was. He did this more than once. When Rick stood at my locker one day, and apparently put his hands close to my butt, Jason saw. A few hours later he beat Rick up pretty badly. No one does that to HIS girlfriend. He got suspended for that one. At my brother's graduation party that spring I had a wine cooler, my mom knew, and he freaked about the alcohol on my breath. I didn't find out for two years that his mother was a rabid alcoholic.
The end of the school year came too soon. My family and I were moving an hour away to be closer to my dad's new job. I couldn't imagine leaving Jason! My parents, though, could not stand him. I think they were happy to, what they thought would be, see the last of him. A few weeks before we moved, some things happened, and my mom told me I had to stop seeing him. You see where this is going, right? That made me want to see him more.
I hated this new town; I'll call it small town. It was so small, and there seriously was nothing to do. All these people did was have sex and drink. There was nothing else to do. I hated this place, because I wanted more. I saw Jason secretly during the summer whenever we would go back to, what I termed, civilization. I even drove with my friend and her boyfriend back to civilization while my parents were on vacation and my brother was watching me. No one in my family knows this even to this day.
We continued to talk, and I found out he had sex with this girl because, as he coined it, she reminded him of me. Yeah. And I still loved him. Stupid, stupid me. Finally, we decided to take a break. Even though I loved him, it was making me depressed whenever we talked. During the next year, I still loved him, but I started dating other people as did he apparently. We talked a bit during our junior year, and both said the song 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' by Poison, best described how we felt. Whenever we talked, we would continue to say we loved each other, and after high school we were going to see each other no matter what my parents said. I couldn't wait!
The end of that summer, the guy I had gone out with for nearly a year, broke up with me. He was going back to Southern Illinois University and, get this, decided that not seeing each often enough made it hard to sustain a relationship. We did remain friends. He was a nice guy.
After that happened, I wrote to Jason, and we started back up again. This time with my mother's knowledge. My family had to go back to civilization twice, and we got together. No, my parents didn't know. Despite my mom being okay with us talking, seeing each other was a different thing all together. When I rang the doorbell at his house, he picked me up and twirled me around as he always did. It had been over a year since we had actually seen each other, but it felt like it had been no time at all. When I had to leave, he cried. As I wiped a tear that was falling down his face, I thought there would never be anyone I could love this much. I looked forward to the summer after our senior year when we would start our lives together.
Well, things happen as they always do. Those things made me realize Jason wasn't all that I thought he was. The last time I called, his mom gave him the phone and he hung it up. Yep. I could not believe he did that! My feelings alternated between being sad and angry.
I dated again, and eventually fell in love with someone else. I made new friends through this relationship, and had a lot of fun. But the feelings for Jason, both anger and love, didn't go away.
Then the thing I never thought would happen did. My family was moving back to civilization. This time I didn't want to go. I was in small town's junior college with all of my friends and current boyfriend, and I finally was happy. How ironic was that? I had wanted to go back for four years, and now I didn't want to leave small town. Well, move we did, and this time my then boyfriend and I stayed together since, unlike Jason and I when I moved, we were both old enough that we had cars and all.
That winter I started attending civilization's junior college. My first day I ran into his sister, AND she is FIVE years older than me. I never would have expected to see HER. She apparently went home and told Jason that I was back. He didn't believe her, and called my old number in small town. Of course, it was disconnected.
After that, I told myself I needed to find out if he was going to civilization's junior college too. Of course, that wasn't why I was calling him, but I lied to myself about that one. I called him up, and we talked and I found out he had just started that semester. Lucky me! We agreed that he would meet me at my philosophy classroom the next week, and he did. He wanted to find out whatever happened to me after he hung up the phone on me that fateful day. Asshole! I was only a phone call away if he had truly wanted to talk to me. Unfortunately, I was still under his spell and decided I wanted to see him too. After all that he had done to me. I can see now how stupid I was being, and I knew I should tell him I never wanted to see him again after all that had happened, but the truth was I did want to see him.
The next week came, and I walked into the classroom where Jason was waiting for me. He immediately picked me up and twirled me around as he always had. He acted as though nothing had happened two short years ago. I was both pissed off and flattered that apparently he was 'still in love with me.' For a long time, he would meet me at my classroom every Tuesday and Thursday. Then he turned back into the asshole Jason I had known so well over the course of the last two years. He told me I wore too much make up, and he didn't like my blond hair. I was going to eventually dye my hair back to brown because I wasn't liking it so much anymore, but I dyed it brown soon after he said that. From everything that he said I finally determined that he wanted the old me back. The one that was 15 and wore very little make up. The naive', fun girl. I think he would have been happy with even my 17-year old self, but the 20-year old me? The independent me? Nope. Soon after that he told me it was my turn to come to his classroom to see him. The classroom was right down the hall from mine, so it wasn't like a huge deal for him to come to mine. Of course, one time I did. He wasn't there, and I never did that again. He was still in my dreams, and I knew it was stupid to even be thinking about him, particularly after the terrible things that he had done to me. Why was it so hard for me to de-tangle myself from this creep? History? I don't know.
I didn't see him again until that summer when was my and my gorgeous (that's another story) boyfriend's waiter. Uh-huh. Can you say uncomfortable. After that, I didn't see him until Hubster and I went to a long time friend's wedding. We walked into the church, and there he was. And I started shaking. I knew that after the church I would be spending the evening with him at the reception. Just knowing he would be there made me nauseous. Bring on the anxiety! Be there he was. Now I never dance by myself. With friends or Hubby, yes, but by myself no. When I heard the song ***'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor, I got my ass on the dance floor. And I sang that song to him. And I looked right at him. Later that night, there was a slow song, and we all got onto the dance floor. Jason danced right next to me with his girlfriend. Seeing as how Hubby and I had just got engaged, I put my hand on Hubby so Jason could see my beautiful ring, and know that I was getting married to someone other than him. That felt good!
That was the last time I saw him until this weekend, which was odd, because I have had to drive by his parent's house every day for two years when I drove S. to preschool. Anyway, Hubby was driving and the two kids were in their car seats. I immediately spotted him as we drove by. I stopped talking, and Hubster knew something was up. The good thing is that Jason has a shaved head, and it looks awful. Hubby says that men do that when they're balding. Ha!
The past crept in my head, but this time it wasn't for long. Hubby reminded me of who I am now, and how much we have together. How wonderful a life we have. I knew I could never have had that with Jason. So, I guess when it's all said and done, things worked out in my life much better than they could have if Jason and I had stayed together. I love my family;I am truly blessed with good friends as well. I know I will never forget that time of my life. How could I? I guess the good thing that came out of it is that I found out how strong I am. You know, after someone has broken up with you, when people tell you how you are better off without him? Or it's loss? I believe it is. I really do. Finally.
Friday, August 01, 2008
My elbow which sustained the same injury. Not a good picture, but I tried.
My pinky toe was not to be spared. Half of it fell off. I didn't realize this until I went to drive. I had to go, because I didn't want S. to be late. So I went with an elbow bleeding, and half a nail. Ah...what mothers do for their children.
I will say my boys were awesome. They immediately ran to the bottom of the stairs to see how I was doing. Now S., being a numbers man and all, told me that I started to fall from the second step. Good to know, S. That kid surprises me everyday! Anyway, they both hugged me, and we went on our way. Oh, when I was on the bottom of the stairs, I said to them,"What did we learn here?" Their faces were blank. I told them, "This is why we never run in the house!" Hey, the experts say that actions speak louder than words, so we should show our kids. And that I did.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
We had so much fun! Couples' massages, swimming in the 'adults only' pool, Dining at nice, but casual, restaurants. Oh, how wonderful it felt to not have to decide what we're having for dinner! Reading book in peace and quiet! Being able to have a conversation with each other, without being interrupted so often that we forgot what we were saying in the first place. Anyone know what I mean on that one? Oh, how relaxing it was. Then Friday came. We had to leave. I did not want to leave. I did not miss my children. I only missed my dog since I sleep with her every night. Isn't that awful? Am I a bad mother?
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Well, pee training has gone VERY well. There are times he has accidents. Like last week at the park. He didn't want to stop playing, so he just wet himself, and promptly told me,"I wet myself." Lovely! Prior to that, though, he has gone over 2 weeks without an accident.
The bad news is he has never gone poop in the potty. When his brother was having trouble potty training, I simply took off his underwear and that was that. I did that with Tot. He pooped on the floor. For a long time, he would poop in his underwear. Now, he has been saving it up for when he's wearing a diaper at nap time and bedtime. I'm glad that he hasn't pooped in his underwear lately, but damn, will he EVER poop in the potty? He starts preschool in the fall, and I wonder if he will be able to go. They have to be fully potty trained there to go. I'm starting to get worried. I have not made a big deal about poop in his diaper anymore, since he would just laugh and think it was funny. I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
When their insurance would pay no more, they decided it was time to let having another biological child go. I gave them all of my adoption information from when we thought we might adopt. We had even chosen an agency. They were very excited about adopting a child. All of the necessary paperwork was completed, and then it was time to wait...and wait and wait.
I do not know what happened since this was all during my pregnancy with Tot, and I felt I shouldn't ask. See, when Tot was 2 months old, they started to put a beautiful addition onto their house.
The next year, they told us that the addition was their 'baby'. I felt if they wanted us to know more, they would tell us, so I didn't ask again. We have talked many times since then, and I know that the pain of infertility is still with them. They tried so hard, and yet they never were able to parent that second child.
Yesterday, Hubby and I were talking with the husband. Tot was being a royal pain in the neck, so I said the one thing no one should say to someone that has gone unsuccessfully through infertility. I said,"Do you want a boy?"
A few hours after I said it, I realized what I had done. I feel like an asshole. I should know better. I want to call and apologize, but that would simply be adding salt to the wound. I feel like a total asshole!
Monday, June 23, 2008
I took the prescription for the other drug, and talked to my pychiatrist about the Accutane. Yeah. He pretty much was 'oh hell no. We agreed why add something like Accutane when I was doing so well with my depression. I would rather have zits than depression!
The problem is this drug has side effects. Menstrual irregularities being #1. Let me say that it has not been fun having two periods a month, and they keep getting closer together. Husband isn't happy about this either. Planning a vacation just for the two of us not knowing if we can even have sex, you know-spontaneous no kids around sex, basically blows. I was a like clockwork girl. I like to have control of this, to know when it's coming. I also have not enjoyed the lightheadedness, nor the out of breath feeling that happens when I walk up a flight of stairs. Working out has been interesting, I'll tell you that! But, but....my skin is beautiful. Really, really beautiful! It has not looked like this since I was a teenager, and didn't have much acne to contend with. I wear a lot less make-up, and feel more self-confident. It is wonderful not having to worry about my make-up smudging off. Sometimes I even feel like I have good skin. My only question is do the benefits outweigh the side effects?
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Being so far away was hard. Not knowing if my family was okay was difficult. All I could think of was that I didn't have their phone number with me. When we got home this afternoon, I called them to see if they were okay. I prayed they would answer, because if they didn't, the news would not have been good. The good news is that they answered their phone and were not hit directly. The bad news is they had minor damage to their property, but no power. It isn't expected to return for another 2-3 days. The electric company's trucks are all over, and doing what they can.
My parents were in a horrible tornado in 67', and never did get over the effects. Whenever there was a bad storm and taking cover was advised, my mom would tell us to quickly get in the basement. We always went too slowly for her liking. I think that we never thought we would be touched by a tornado, so we didn't see the point of rushing. My mom did. When she passed away, I took her copy of the newspaper depicting that tornado. She always kept it in her drawer. I never understood that, but I do now.
Monday, June 02, 2008
- While in the dressing room with your son, you tell him not to ball up his clothes and throw them on the floor.
- When your oldest says to you,"What's Tot going to have to do?", and you tell him to worry about himself not his brother.
- When your son tells you something isn't fair, and you tell him life isn't fair..
- When you tell your kids when they are done with something to put it back where it belongs.
- When you say how tired you are of all the mess.
- When you find yourself asking if you're doing everything around the house.
- When you ask your son,"Did you not HEAR me? I told you to..."
- When you ask, "Who's fed the dog today?"
- When you yell at your older son to stop touching his brother!
- When you find a toy broken, clothes on the floor etc..., and you tell your son he is lucky to have nice things, and he needs to take care of them...or Grandpa etc. bought you that and you need to take care of it. Or, "What happened, that's your good shirt! You need to take better care of it!"
- When one of your children has spilled something, etc.., and you loudly tell them,"I can't have anything nice anymore!" or something along those lines.
- When you tell your son to 'watch what he's doing' in a variety of situations.
- When you say,"I'm not going to do it for you."
- When you ask,"Why would you do that?!"
- When you yell,"Clean your room!"
***So what do you do/say that reminds you of what your parent/s used to say to you???
Sunday, June 01, 2008
S. loves going to this Chicago neighborhood, as do I. My cousins' house is there, and I always remember, as a child, thinking how beautiful it was. This neighborhood also has many little shops, and very few chain stores and restaurants. Living in the burbs', it seems all we have are chains!
This neighborhood is not perfect, though. It isn't as picturesque as it looks. You cannot go east of a certain street, because that neighborhood is terrible. The crime rate has soared in the last decade. However, to the west the neighborhood is still very good. Well, as good as any neighborhood in the city can be.
When I was in my early 20's, I used to go to a bar out there with my friends. The first time I went I assumed, due to it being in the city and all, that there would be an ethnic mix. There was none. The customers were all white, and still are. This bar is Irish, and if you know anything about the Irish in our city, Mayor Daley..., they generally tend to be opinionated. They aren't going to put up with anything, and generally like to stick together. As an example, a guy friend of mine from college said he could never marry me because I wasn't Irish. Not for any other reason. As a result, we never dated. What would be the point? Irish ancestry is revered that much here.
My point here is there are only white people in this bar. I really couldn't believe it, as the neighborhood isn't strictly white, being the city and all. Our bars in the burbs' have more of a mix. I am not going to slam whites like Father Pleger did at St. Sabina. Personally, I am tired of hearing how awful white people are. Now I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton, but I feel strongly that he went too far in his 'sermon'.
At any rate, if you go to the other side of town, those bars are the same except that whites aren't accepted. The problem I have here is each of these bars are segregated. Haven't we gotten past this? I thought people wanted to be brought together. Not the whole 'separate but equal' bullshit from so long ago. Maybe I'm wrong, but every time I see the movies captured during the civil rights days, particularly with Martin Luther King in them, I feel that all of us in this world are more alike than different, and that people were fighting to be treated well regardless of race or religion. Is this idea of a truly united states a vision of our own 'wonderland' that we may never see?