Yesterday, I had a hard time. The day started out with all of its cold weather splendor. S. was happy that we would be able to go to his storytime class that had been on its spring break hiatus. The weather looked so bad, that I didn't know if we'd even be able to go. And we ALL needed to get out of this house! We did end up going, but it was a bad start to the day.
After lunch I went to the gym. Being that my period is due any day now, and with last month's lovely endometriosis pain looming over my head, I have decided to see if exercising intensely will provide any relief. Believe me, I will kill myself exercising if it means I can move without being in pain. It looks like Hubby will have to work the weekend and past the boys' bedtimes the rest of the week, so I need to do something to help me get through this month's bloodfest. Well, I did very well at the gym, however I ended up very tired and very sore. Who knew? Anyway, my PMS this month is just awful. I know this is largely due to Hubby working so late, but knowing that doesn't help.
Hubby didn't end up calling me in the evening at all, so I called him. I wanted to find out how late he had to work. After trying to chop up onions, green peppers, and celery, as well as browning meat all while the kids are being maniacs had tried every one of my last nerves. I was tired, sore, and pissed off beyond belief at all of my boys. Now I knew in my head that none of this was Hubby's fault. I knew that he would as soon be home than at work reworking numbers until late in the night. I knew this all, but I couldn't stop myself. I picked up the phone at 6PM, and asked when the hell Hubby's work was going to let him come home because if it wasn't soon, one of us was going to be dead when he got home. I was done. I was through with trying to make a good dinner for the boys, and having to listen to screaming and whining in return. I was tired of trying to keep the house clean, clothes washed and put away, making sure each child got time with mommy, picking up after the dogs and making sure they got fed, and so on and so on, BY MYSELF! When Hubby didn't say anything on the phone, scared of saying something to further piss me off I'm sure, I told him that since he wasn't going to talk, I was letting him go. Don't you wish you were married to me?!
All the while, I knew none of this was his fault, but I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was possessed. Possessed by the evil PMS hormones. Normally, I think very hard about what I say to Hubby when he is at work. I know it hurts him that he's not able to spend much time with the boys even on a good day. I know when S. talked with him on the phone, and said to him,"Daddy, you having dinner at work again?", it made him sad. It makes him sad to think about all that he is giving up by working a job that requires so much of his time. As we were going through some old files the other day, he found a birthday card that he had given me our first year married. In it he wrote, "I am sorry that I have screwed up your special day by having to work so late....I am going to try to find a job that allows me to make family time more of a priority." He left public accounting for that very reason: to allow more time with our family. What happened? Infertility, bills, and getting used to a certain amount of money have all added up to no time doing the one thing we wanted most of all, spending time together with our children. Hormones or no hormones, that much is true.
I can still feel those hormones churning away in my body. In 20 minutes, it'll be time to pick S. up from preschool. Great. It's not that Tater Tot is easier really, it's that he doesn't talk much. On the other hand, S. never stops talking. And he's full of attitude lately since he hasn't been able to play outside and expend some of that energy. We're like caged animals over here. Have any of you 'lost it' due to good old PMS or am I the only bitch out there? I feel so badly for my husband. I'm usually a good wife and mother, but this week I've sucked.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
To Quote My Brother, "This Blows!"
Yesterday, and today as well, this is what we woke up to:
Lovely, snowy slush mix.
Our poor tree started to grow its leaves back amongst all of the warm weather of two weeks ago, but now it seems stuck, not knowing what to do.
Our neighbors beautiful smelling Magnolia tree with its dead flowers. After reading up about the effects of the cold weather, its appears that the flowers may bloom again, or they may not. I think I could've figured that one out without the reading.
Today it also snowed. I am so tired of this cold weather. So tired.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Not the Time To Try That
Hubby used to be in public accounting. After 7 exhausting tax seasons, he decided to go into the private sector believing it would give him more family time; don't get me started. The 80+ weekly hours burned him out. So today he is an assistant controller and manager of a company. The point here is that Hubby hasn't done anyone's personal tax returns in a long time. Except for Mr.K.'s.
Hubby's dad used to have him do not only their tax return, but also their friend's, Mr. K. Well, last year Hubby didn't even do his parents' return, but Mr. K. still asked Hubby to do his. Now Mr. K. has owned his own business for many years, so this is not a super easy return to do. Plus, Hubby being out of the public tax sector hasn't kept up on all the latest tax rules. It could actually be costing Mr. K. NOT to have an accountant of his own, because Hubby might miss something. Now this man also never paid Hubby to do his return, but would instead give us a gift certificate. Yah, Mr. K. definitely saved money by not hiring an accountant.
Well, we never heard from Mr. K. this year, so we figured he wasn't going to ask Hubby to do his return this year. Phew! Oh, how wrong we were! He called TWO weeks before the April 15th deadline. TWO WEEKS! He just expected that Hubby would drop whatever he had to do just to complete Mr. K.'s return. I mean, come on, the deadline is the same every year. I think it's just plain rude to wait until the last minute to ask someone to do something for you. It's like he just assumed Hubby would do it, and that just aggravates me.
Hubby got home at 9PM last night, and we were both exhausted from our days. Hubby said he didn't know what to do about Mr. K.'s return. When would he find the time? I told him not to worry about it, that I would take care of it. Now I am not a confrontational type of person, but when you upset one of one boys, watch out! I also told Hubby that they already think I'm a bitch, so what's the difference? What's he going to do, call Hubby's parents??? We're not talking to them anyway. What do we care? Hubby didn't need this extra thing to do; he's not going to see the boys this whole week as it is!
This morning I called Mr.K. and told him that Hubby is no longer doing personal tax returns, and is working too many hours to complete even his, Mr. K.'s return. I was waiting for him to say something, because I am angry about the whole situation as well as about all of the hours Hubby is having to work currently. Oh, and did I mention this is PMS week. Yah. All it would have taken was one word out of that guy, and I would have let him have it. It actually would have felt good; I have been wanting to have a fight with someone over this hellish week. To my surprise, he said nothing. In fact, I had to be the one to even say goodbye. And I did. So now Hubby is done with that return forever. Please don't think we don't like to help people out, but have some common courtesy. Don't call and just expect things. When did people get so rude?!
Hubby's dad used to have him do not only their tax return, but also their friend's, Mr. K. Well, last year Hubby didn't even do his parents' return, but Mr. K. still asked Hubby to do his. Now Mr. K. has owned his own business for many years, so this is not a super easy return to do. Plus, Hubby being out of the public tax sector hasn't kept up on all the latest tax rules. It could actually be costing Mr. K. NOT to have an accountant of his own, because Hubby might miss something. Now this man also never paid Hubby to do his return, but would instead give us a gift certificate. Yah, Mr. K. definitely saved money by not hiring an accountant.
Well, we never heard from Mr. K. this year, so we figured he wasn't going to ask Hubby to do his return this year. Phew! Oh, how wrong we were! He called TWO weeks before the April 15th deadline. TWO WEEKS! He just expected that Hubby would drop whatever he had to do just to complete Mr. K.'s return. I mean, come on, the deadline is the same every year. I think it's just plain rude to wait until the last minute to ask someone to do something for you. It's like he just assumed Hubby would do it, and that just aggravates me.
Hubby got home at 9PM last night, and we were both exhausted from our days. Hubby said he didn't know what to do about Mr. K.'s return. When would he find the time? I told him not to worry about it, that I would take care of it. Now I am not a confrontational type of person, but when you upset one of one boys, watch out! I also told Hubby that they already think I'm a bitch, so what's the difference? What's he going to do, call Hubby's parents??? We're not talking to them anyway. What do we care? Hubby didn't need this extra thing to do; he's not going to see the boys this whole week as it is!
This morning I called Mr.K. and told him that Hubby is no longer doing personal tax returns, and is working too many hours to complete even his, Mr. K.'s return. I was waiting for him to say something, because I am angry about the whole situation as well as about all of the hours Hubby is having to work currently. Oh, and did I mention this is PMS week. Yah. All it would have taken was one word out of that guy, and I would have let him have it. It actually would have felt good; I have been wanting to have a fight with someone over this hellish week. To my surprise, he said nothing. In fact, I had to be the one to even say goodbye. And I did. So now Hubby is done with that return forever. Please don't think we don't like to help people out, but have some common courtesy. Don't call and just expect things. When did people get so rude?!
Monday, April 09, 2007
Single Parenthood
Hubby called early this morning to tell me he would be working past the boys' bedtimes every night this week. Oh, and it looks like there could be work for him on the weekend as well. Dear Lord, that's a lot of time with the boys ALONE. To celebrate, or to make myself feel somewhat better about being a single mom, I went to Sephora today and spent way too much money. Cuz' if I have to be a single parent, I want to look good while doing it, or something like that.
***If I owe you an e-mail, I will try to e-mail you sometime this week. I only have about five zillion phone calls to make as well as a meeting to attend Wednesday night. UGH! Did I mention Hubby is going to be home tomorrow after the boys go to bed. I cleared this with him weeks ago. I guess they'll be coming with me. Oh, goody!
***If I owe you an e-mail, I will try to e-mail you sometime this week. I only have about five zillion phone calls to make as well as a meeting to attend Wednesday night. UGH! Did I mention Hubby is going to be home tomorrow after the boys go to bed. I cleared this with him weeks ago. I guess they'll be coming with me. Oh, goody!
Friday, April 06, 2007
Am I the Only One?
Last weekend Hubby and I had the rare treat of a dinner out sans kids. I was really looking forward to having an uninterrupted conversation with my husband which is very hard to do with the kids in tow.
The restaurant we chose had a lot of families dining in it. Our dinner was spent listening to other people's children scream, and watching one particular father look at the child's mother and shrug his shoulders, and hand said child back to her. Hubby was pissed because he said it is fathers like those that make all fathers look bad. And the night didn't get much better. To be honest, if that kid wouldn't have screamed, I don't know what we would have talked about that evening. We are so boring. The only thing that got my Hubby interested in a conversation was asking him specific questions about work. His work. When we go out, I try very hard not to talk about the kids. We need to have more in common. We used to. We used to talk about sports, art, history, and the like. Now, who has the time to go to museums, galleries or read a thick historical book?
To be fair, we were both tired. Sleep is a rare commodity around here. Let me clarify that. Enough sleep is a rare commodity. Plus, since it was warm out, Hubby decided to tear down all of our bushes on the side of the house. Yah. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that others are at a lack for conversation when they go out with their husbands.
Tonight we are going out to dinner, just Hubby and me. I am actually thinking about having a list of topics thought up so there won't be that 'lull' in our conversation. Just think, only16 more years until the boys are out of the house. Only 16 years to come up with something besides the boys to talk about, or else I guess we'll be two old people just staring at the wall.
The restaurant we chose had a lot of families dining in it. Our dinner was spent listening to other people's children scream, and watching one particular father look at the child's mother and shrug his shoulders, and hand said child back to her. Hubby was pissed because he said it is fathers like those that make all fathers look bad. And the night didn't get much better. To be honest, if that kid wouldn't have screamed, I don't know what we would have talked about that evening. We are so boring. The only thing that got my Hubby interested in a conversation was asking him specific questions about work. His work. When we go out, I try very hard not to talk about the kids. We need to have more in common. We used to. We used to talk about sports, art, history, and the like. Now, who has the time to go to museums, galleries or read a thick historical book?
To be fair, we were both tired. Sleep is a rare commodity around here. Let me clarify that. Enough sleep is a rare commodity. Plus, since it was warm out, Hubby decided to tear down all of our bushes on the side of the house. Yah. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that others are at a lack for conversation when they go out with their husbands.
Tonight we are going out to dinner, just Hubby and me. I am actually thinking about having a list of topics thought up so there won't be that 'lull' in our conversation. Just think, only16 more years until the boys are out of the house. Only 16 years to come up with something besides the boys to talk about, or else I guess we'll be two old people just staring at the wall.
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