Tuesday, June 28, 2005

What is Perfect Anyway?

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed because there always seems to be laundry to do, dry cleaning to take in and pick up, kids to bathe, a dog to brush and bathe, a house to pick up, carpets to clean, toys and junk to sort through, a christening to plan(oh, wait that's just me!), flowers to water so they don't die in this drought we're having, and THEN your husband wakes you up to tell you something is wrong with the car that is PAID FOR and he is taking it into the shop? Dear Lord. Oh, how I hope Honda can fix it and cheaply too. We were counting on keeping the Accord for a long time; remember, it's paid for! We still have a while left until the van is paid off. Ugh!
OH, and I went to my pysch, yesterday and it was determined my meds. had leveled off, and my dose needed to be increased. So that's why I have been irritable lately?! I thought it was normal to feel down when you can't seem to lose any more weight, your two-year old is destroying the room you painstakingly put together for him--i.e.---he's pulling the chair rail out of the wall nails and all, and your husband asks what he can do to help you, but ends up playing video games all night and ends up falling asleep while you are in the midst of a conversation with him. I have had lots of trouble sleeping lately, so my doctor gave me some Lunestra to help me sleep; it didn't. I must be the only person who takes the highest dose of a sleeping pill and still can't sleep!
One funny thing though. As I'm quickly, don't want anyone to see me walk out of a psych. office----you know, I'm a crazy lady-----two drug company reps. walked out too. One sold Avandia, the other Levitra. The Avandia lady had a bag with no drug name on it. The Levitra man had a HUGE bag with the name 'Levitra' written on it in big letters. So the lady tells him, that it's good to have the name on the bag, good advertising. Then the man says, "Yah, but I don't want to be known as the ED man." He pushes the drug for erectile dsyfunction. He was so uncomfortable that I just had to laugh; I couldn't contain it. Can you imagine?
Last night I went out with the girls. More on that in a later entry. Baby crying and older son trying to put the pacifier in his mouth which causes more harm than good. Stevie loves Ryan, and I am happy about that, but he's always bugging him, even when he sleeps. I guess it could be worse!

1 comment:

Jen Taurus said...

Bev,

I thought I was the only "crazy" person who tries to duck out of the office. I have been going there for 1.5 years and i'm still embarressed. I saw two co-workers there on two seperate occasions.
I just said hello and nothing more.
I hate being crazy.

The worse for me was seeing chloe's daycare teacher at the ob/gyn office and later that day shes asked me if I was feeling well. Actually, no but mind your own business.

I am suffering so these days. I'm searching for some sort of drama that doesn't exist. I cannot stop. I want to do all these things to change me, but I'm scared to change me. THis depression has changed my life in so many ways. It's taken my courage from me.

I hope your enjoying the kids. Stephan will help Ryan forever, get used to it. My brother busted my nose once, because i wouldn't get ready for school. It's kinda funny now.

Any Plans for the 4th?

Jen