Be Careful What You Wish For

My oldest son never seemed to care when I left him with a family member or even in the church nursery. I must admit to you that my feelings were hurt a bit by that. When friends would talk about how awful it was to leave a child screaming and crying, "Mama!", I would secretly wish that my child would show some form of regret by leaving. I would read books which said that my son was clearly comfortable with me leaving because he was very well-adjusted, etc. But I thought to myself that all of my friends were very good parents as well, so obviously it wasn't something that I had done that made him this way. I correctly came to the conclusion that it was more of the way his personality was. He was born this way. Yes, I believe he's well-adjusted, but so are many children who suffer some form of separation anxiety. I wanted to believe it was my superior parenting, but deep down I knew it wasn't. Boy was I right about that!

Son #2 has developed a lovely case of separation anxiety. At about 3 months I began leaving him in the church nursery with no problems. Our wonderful babysitter is also the head of our church's nursery which has worked out rather nicely, I tell you. He is still fine at church as well as with our sitter. He must think she's a second mother of sorts! At any rate, if I try to take him to the gym with me, he literally cries the whole time. Breaks my heart! I have tried to make the transition as smooth as silk, but it never works. I painfully schedule the entire morning before we go so that Tot has eaten enough, slept enough, has dry pants, is in cmfortable clothing, and has been given Motrin should he be cutting another tooth. All to no avail. The kid screams, the kid cries, a staff member comes to get me. They always question me about things I've done too. The last time was the suggestion of a pacifier. He is ONE year old. I am not going ot START giving him one again. I told them he used to take one, but hasn't in awhile. I don't want to start that all over again. He gave it up on his own, which was rather nice. I don't know what else to do. My older son LOVES, LOVES,LOVES going to the gym with me. He gets upset if I don't take him. I now am having my babysitter come to my house two days a week, so I can exercise. I am also paying the family rate for our membership because it includes babysitting which I still do need at least once a week. I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I just take him and he'll eventually get used to it, or stop exercising which has really been good for me???

Tot also makes this lovely scream when my hubby or I leave the room. We can actually just walk to the other side of the room and he'll cry and flail around. I feel so bad for him, but at the same time I seriously end up getting a headache after awhile. I mean I can't sit next to him the whole day. I love that he seems to care that I'm around, but this is getting to be too much of a good thing. I guess it goes back to the old adage: be careful what you wish for!