Saturday, April 23, 2005

I'm Losing It

I feel like the worst mother ever. Steve wouldn't take a nap yesterday, which mean I didn't get a nap or even some downtime. Which means I had absolutely NO patience for any crap a two-year old may pull. I know you all are laughing right now, because you know two-year olds pull LOTS of crap during the day. I thought maybe it was my hormones that were making me have no patience for things that, frankly, I would have found funny a year ago, or maybe if I was able to get some sleep! Well, the consensus is that it is not just me. Jeff took total care of Steve today, love that man, and by the end of the day was looking and sounding pretty much like I did at the same time yestesrday. I just feel like I say 'No, don't do that' too often. That Steve must think I'm not at all fun anymore. I feel so guilty about not physically playing with him like I used to, instead saying, 'Bring it to mamma. We'll play with it on the couch' that I actually got on the floor to build towers with him like we used to. Well, the kid must have forgotten that WE used to do this together, because he brought the blocks over by me, and proceeded to play with them by himself---for all of 30 seconds. Then he ran away, and I couldn't get up, which he found annoyingly funny. I told myself to change my attitude. Maybe I am the one to blame for his foul moods lately. I mean how much fun is it really to live with a fat woman who resembles your mother, but who can be really crabby most of the time? And said woman keeps talking about a new baby, but he has yet to see any real evidence of it. I mean mamma must have lost her freakin' mind! And you know what? I think I have.

5 comments:

Jen Taurus said...

Bev,

You are NOT losing it. Two year olds are whirlwinds when your not pregnant. Boys are such a bundle of energy, very different from girls. This is just a phase. In a few weeks you will be enjoying playing blocks again.

I'm sure once your pregnancy is over, you'll be better than ever.
Just remember to take time for yourself as you need it. I know you feel guilty, I have too. Just remember, it will get better.
Do what ever it is that you need to. Even if you have to play a video to get a break, do something.
Stephan won't be poisioned if he watches some tv.

I hope your weekend was good. I am updating my blog tonight.

JEnnifer

formerteacher said...

Thanks Jen
I needed to hear that!
Bev

formerteacher said...

Thanks, Sue! Today I rented a new Elmo video for Steve to watch, and I am not going to let myself feel guilty even if he ends up watching it over 50 times!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bev,

I felt like total crap on the regular paxil. I stopped taking it and finished up the paxil cr I had left. Now I'm back to teh paxil. I had to get through last week adn I needed the paxil cr. I hate that they took it off the market. I might need to switch it up. The first problem is the paxil cr was real paxil and the other is generic. I am also still on the wellbutrin.

I'm kinda level right now, but i should hit the deep end again soon.
It's so cyclic. I got my period and did well this month, I guess it's the meds. I didnt freak or anything. I hated that GRE, but I've moved along.

I hope things are better. One suggestion, buy an elmo or something DVD. If it's gotta be learning related get the Baby Einstein Series, the kids like them
I realized today, I feel really heavy. I don't know if I've gained and been in denial but i'm so fat. I'm glad we didn't get pregnant this cycle. I still need more time.

Chloe wants triplets. Save me.

Jen

Jen Taurus said...

One more thing..I updated my blog.
Stephan will not remember you being crabby when you were pregnant. He's going to remember that you are an awsome mother whose so great to him.