A few days ago as S. got into the car after preschool he said,"Amy is not my friend anymore." I asked him why he would say that. He said,"Because she told me that. She doesn't want to play with me anymore." He said something like that about another child a few days before that. He also said one of the boys hit him. Luckily, he did mention another girl who would play with him. He said,"Sammy is a nice girl." That did make me feel better. I must admit, though, that my heart sank and hurt for my little boy when he talked about kids not wanting to play with him. Why would anyone not want to play with my little guy? What's wrong with these kids? Didn't their parents teach them any manners? I needed to remind myself that kids are kids. Kids can be cruel. And at this age, they say they don't want to be friends anymore and two minutes later, they're playing again like nothing ever happened. I did ask my husband if maybe I should call his teacher, ask her if she's noticed S. being withdrawn. I decided to try to not make such a big deal out of it, since he still loves to go to school. I am going to keep an eye on him, but I am going to follow his lead on this one. It's just so hard to be on the other side.
We also have four kids, three boys and one girl, that live next door. These boys are older than S. by several years. A few weeks ago, Hubby found rocks being thrown at S. Then last week, there seemed to be some not so nice talk going on. I went out there, and the boys invited S. over. Since Tot was napping, I walked over with S. I stayed with him since the boys are older, and there had been prior disagreements. S. had a very nice time. The boys were very welcoming. When it came time to leave, I told S. he could stay in our backyard and play while I got the Tot up from his nap. Again, I find things being thrown, my son, and mean words being spoken. When the boys told me S. was throwing rocks and water at them, I spoke to S. and then to the boys. S. told me they were being mean, and I told him to come and get me, not to throw things at them. We never throw rocks. Then I told the boys that if S. was bothering them, then they should move away from the fence. If he is bothering them so much, they should not stand on a chair so they could see him over our six foot wooden fence. I mean if someone is bothering you, you wouldn't stay right by them by your own free will so they could bother you some more, would you? Besides, they are four and a half years older than S. Anyway, we like the parents of the boys very much, and I believe the boys are basically good kids, but they aren't being kind to my son. Today, they are back at the fence, and unkind things are being said. I told S. to not talk to them today. He could stay outside, but no talking or playing with them, since they aren't being nice. Lovely.
My point here is that it breaks my heart when I see my son so upset. Upset by kids picking on him. He justs wants to play with other kids. Wasn't it just yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital and could control his whole day for him? Now that he is out in the world by himself I can't control everything. I can't control what other kids will say to him. I know my son is not an angel; I know this. But, still, it breaks my heart to hear that a child doesn't want to be friends with him, or another child say he doesn't want to play with him. S. is very sensitive like his daddy. My husband tells me what happened to him as a child, and I don't want that to happen to S. But what can I do? How do you stop kids from picking on your son? What do you tell your son to say or do in situations like that? When do you know to step back and let him deal with it on his own? S. is my first child, and I am learning from him. I just hate having to learn this; it breaks my heart.
We also have four kids, three boys and one girl, that live next door. These boys are older than S. by several years. A few weeks ago, Hubby found rocks being thrown at S. Then last week, there seemed to be some not so nice talk going on. I went out there, and the boys invited S. over. Since Tot was napping, I walked over with S. I stayed with him since the boys are older, and there had been prior disagreements. S. had a very nice time. The boys were very welcoming. When it came time to leave, I told S. he could stay in our backyard and play while I got the Tot up from his nap. Again, I find things being thrown, my son, and mean words being spoken. When the boys told me S. was throwing rocks and water at them, I spoke to S. and then to the boys. S. told me they were being mean, and I told him to come and get me, not to throw things at them. We never throw rocks. Then I told the boys that if S. was bothering them, then they should move away from the fence. If he is bothering them so much, they should not stand on a chair so they could see him over our six foot wooden fence. I mean if someone is bothering you, you wouldn't stay right by them by your own free will so they could bother you some more, would you? Besides, they are four and a half years older than S. Anyway, we like the parents of the boys very much, and I believe the boys are basically good kids, but they aren't being kind to my son. Today, they are back at the fence, and unkind things are being said. I told S. to not talk to them today. He could stay outside, but no talking or playing with them, since they aren't being nice. Lovely.
My point here is that it breaks my heart when I see my son so upset. Upset by kids picking on him. He justs wants to play with other kids. Wasn't it just yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital and could control his whole day for him? Now that he is out in the world by himself I can't control everything. I can't control what other kids will say to him. I know my son is not an angel; I know this. But, still, it breaks my heart to hear that a child doesn't want to be friends with him, or another child say he doesn't want to play with him. S. is very sensitive like his daddy. My husband tells me what happened to him as a child, and I don't want that to happen to S. But what can I do? How do you stop kids from picking on your son? What do you tell your son to say or do in situations like that? When do you know to step back and let him deal with it on his own? S. is my first child, and I am learning from him. I just hate having to learn this; it breaks my heart.
How could anyone not love this little guy?
5 comments:
I will be on the next flight to whip their 2nd grade butts.
Honestly, Bev. These kids are too old to play with s. I am scared of older kids that's why I won't let princess attend afterschool through the Y. Older kids have different agenda's then younger ones. The younger ones just want to be liked and loved. It's so hard to hear other's being mean.
I worried about princess because she tends to be passive and forgiving. I have learned through this year that she does stand up for herself so I feel better. As for the preschool kids, this is normal and you know it. We all just want our kids the be the popular ones and the ones everyone loves.
We know S is a good little soul. There's just too many kids in this world that want to do bad to others. You know that sheltering S is the best thing you can do.
He is little and precious. The best thing for me is knowing I can still shelter her from the cruel world a little longer, but it does seem like we were the center of their world one day and the last person these days.
You are doing a good job. I always have to remember that this will pass.
No suggestions for dealing with the a-hole older kids, but I seriously love that picture. It looks like he's taken Elmo hostage.
Kids can be so mean. I agree with Jen, maybe he is just too young to be playing with those older boys. I absolutely love that picture. What a cutie!
I think what you posted about is one of the hardest things about being a parent...and it doesn't get any easier. Just yesterday my 2nd grade daughter was at her soccer practice. She was sad and distracted because our puppy had surgery and wasn't doing very well. When she told another little girl on the team that girl responded, "Who cares, your dog is ugly," and ran away laughing. Of course this completely devastated my daughter. Kids can be cruel and its hard to teach them to be kind...
Hang in there....
Thank you all for your comments. It IS one of the hardest things about being a parent! I about cried myself when I read anonymous' comment about her daughter's puppy! UGH! Kids are mean!
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