Today is the day we hopefully get to find out what we are having. The first thing that is of importance to us is finding out that the baby is healthy. I really mean that as Jeff's family has a congenital heart defect in it. Jeff's older brother died when he was a month old because he was missing a part of his heart. Today the only thing they could do would be to have a heart transplant. And of course, there is no guarantee that that would even work. So we are very anxious to find out, God-willing, that this baby is healthy. Obviously, this is way more important than gender.
I would like to admit that I have loved raising a son. I have learned so much, and the older he gets, the more fun we have. I have been around boys more than girls my entire life. My family, both sides, just has way more boys than girls. I was always made to feel special, because I was usually the 'only girl'. Can you imagine what kind of wardrobe I had?! I always wanted a son, and I always wanted him to be born first. I have a brother who is three years older than me, and we are very close. He always stuck up for me, and protected me as I grew up. I always wanted that for my kids. I also wanted a sister too, but wishin' didn't mean gettin':) Anyway, I had always dreamed that my second child would be a girl. One of each, how perfect right?! I dreamed of how I would decorate a girl's room, how I would dress her in girly clothes, and just how she would be my little girl. I could teach her things; I knew how it was to be a girl. Being a boy is still somewhat of a mystery to me, and I know someday Steve will rather be with his daddy than with me. Plus, when Steve gets married, I know he will be with his wife's family more. What is that old saying, "A boy is a son untils he marries his wife; a girl is a daughter for life", or something like that. Let's face it, girls usually come home more often. I want, I crave, that mother/daughter relationship that my mom and I had. I ain't gonna get that from Steve. And that's OK. My mom and my brother were VERY close; it's just different with daughters. I know there are some things that a daughter would want to know that a son wouldn't. I mean Steve is not going to want to know about my miscarriage or when I started my first period; things that are relevant to a daughter. Jeff and him will go to football games together, and maybe even share a fantasy football team. That's good; he needs his father. I guess I just want to feel needed like that too. On the other hand, I know boys, I love boys. I have a much easier time than some of my friends with girls do. And, let me say this, picture taking is SO much easier with a boy. I just bring a hairbrush with me, brush his hair right before the picture is taken, and that's it. No ponytails, no bows, or anything else for him to pull out. There are so many great things about each gender, and I know I will be happy with whatever we are having. Plus, I have NO idea what to do with the nursery if we have a girl; I already have everything picked out for a boy. Yes, my heart believes I am having a boy. And no, we will not be having any more children to try for a girl. God gives us what He believes we should have, and as long as he's healthy, we are truly blessed.
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