Of course, it's obvious that I love being pregnant because I am going to give birth to another baby. I did forget, though, that there are some other things that rock about being pregnant. I love my hair again! I normally have the thinnest hair that is so hard to style. However, when I am pregnant my hair is thicker, shinier, and generally better looking. My skin, this time, actually DOES have a glow to it. It is also clear. When I was on the fertility drugs my skin broke out; not a great thing to happen when you're already feeling bad about yourself. The baby's kicks are a little stronger, not TOO strong yet, and that's a reminder to me that yes I am pregnant. I still forget, anyone else? I also have this great feeling of anticipation, much like how I used to feel as a kid on Christmas morning. Although, I must admit, this is far better than any Christmas morning as a kid that I can remember.
Steve is also really into babies right now. He just loves pointing to my belly and saying,"Baby." I just love when he does that!
Last night I was watching Frasier', and all of the sudden I realized how absolutely cool it is going to be for Steve to have a brother. Watching the Frasier and Niles characters interact made me realize what a strong bond brothers must share. I had always thought about that bond that sisters have, but never about brothers.
Something that has been a pet peeve of mine, but now makes me laugh when I think of the absurdity of the question: "Are they sure it's a boy?", when the news of the ultrasound is given. I had a level 2 AND a 4D u/s by a materal/fetal health specialty group; I think they know what they're doing! Oh, and I know boys' parts when I see 'em!
Thanks to all that read my last post. I have never written about Steve's birth before, not even in my own journal. I know it is something that I've needed to do, and truthfully, I felt a lot lighter after I wrote it. Things happen, and I believe we learn from them. I also believe we learn from other women sharing their stories and feelings. That is another reason why I wrote the post. To let someone out there who might be going through what I did, know, that they are not alone and things do get better. The funny thing is that I have found some of the funniest, most optimistic people I have met in my life have had some really bad things happen in their lives. I have also found this group of people to be the strongest, most positive group out there. I really believe I am an optimistic, positive person. I love to laugh, I love to point out the absurdity in some situations, and well, just laugh. I could be a very pessimistic, angry person. My mom died young, as did most of the women on my mom's side. Frequently, I am one of the few women at an event with my family. I could site statistics on my likelihood to develop breast cancer every day: my mom had breast cancer, developed it premenopausally at age 46--bad, I have several autoimmune disorders--endometriosis, hypothryroidism, interstitial cystitis---all which place me an an even greater risk since cancer is in itself an autoimmune disorder, also breast cancer tend to hit the daughters a full 10 years before their mother's age when they were diagnosed, which would put me at 36---just a mere 3 1/2 years away. But you know what, I decided after doctors told me my risks that I was just going to live. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I need to be happy with what I have now. I get mammograms, which is a lot of fun explaining to an insurance company why I needed a baseline at age 30, and why they should pay! But I have learned that everyone has something bad to deal with in their life. I could choose to write my will and sit and wait to get cancer, or I could go out and live, which is what I chose to do. I will tell you that I did purchase a form book called 'All About Me' and wrote answers to all of the questions in there about myself. You know, just in case.
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