Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Is this normal?

Is it normal to feel such pride, such excitement, when your child comes to you to tie his shoes? Especially when your husband has offered to tie such shoes, and your child says, "No, Mommy tie shoes." Is it normal to feel the same way when your child gives you a hug, but refuses to give your spouse one? Is it insane to want, but certainly not to admit, your child to love you best? To rationalize that feeling by saying I am the one who gave up her career, her life, her body to solely exist for my child, so he BETTER love me best? To think of all the surgeries, the injections, the appointments, and think, "Hey, what the hell DID my husband do to become a parent?' Oh, yah, he did the deed into a plastic cup and put his name and time collected on it. Oh, and supported me when I thought I was going to lose my mind over all the disappointments. Yah, he watched me cry too many times to count. Maybe I should cut him some slack and let Steve love him best today.

1 comment:

Jen Taurus said...

Bev,

Where have you been? How are you feeling? It's very cold in NC right now. THey are prediciting a storm for this weekend. I hope it passes and doesn't hit us.
The south is a bad place for bad weather.

I have had such a rough week. I had to work until 7 several days and I have been in such a bad mood. I cannot shake it. I almost thought I needed to call the psych because I"ve been so off. I think I'll need some more med's inaddition to the paxil. I had to meet with the counselor today before work. I was tired. Chloe was sick yesterday and I didn't work until 3pm but it was hectic. I'm still trying to get my flexible benefits nad healthcare benefits straightened out so I can get reimbursement for my copays and meds. THis is so screwed up. Money rules my life and I hate it.

I hope your well.

Jen